Pig jokes

A woman goes to the doctor complaining of bad knee pains. After the diagnostic tests showed nothing, the doctor questions her, "There must be something you're doing that you haven't told me.
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There was a guy sitting at a bar having a beer.Up walks a so called "lady of the night". Shesays, "For $300.00, I'll do anything you want."Our fine lad thinks for a moment then says:Ok. Paint my house, bitch!
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Q. How do you make holy water?
A. Boil
the hell out of it.
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The English language is not to be spoken. You may be arrested for vagrancy if you do not have at least one dollar bill on your person. You must contact the police before entering the city in an automobile.
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A guy walked into a pet store looking for a Christmas gift for his wife. The storekeeper said he knew exactly what would please her and took a little bird out of its cage."This is Chet," he said, "and Chet can sing Christmas carols and songs." Seeing the look of disbelief on the customer's face, he proceeded to demonstrate.
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Why happened when the cat swallowed a coin
?
There was some money in the kitty !
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An anesthesiologist is a doctor who works in the operating room to delay your pain until such time as you get his bill.
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Q: What kind of wood does not float?A: Natalie Wood!
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John & Jessica were on their
way
home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the
police. The
officer told John that he was stopped because his tail
light was burned
out. John said, "I'm very sorry officer, I didn't
realize it was
out, I'll get it fixed right away.
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A bored guy sat in the bar and looking to strike up a conversation.He turns to bartender and says, "Hey, about those Democrats in the Congress . ..""STOP pal - I don't allow talk about politics in my bar!" interrupted the bartender.A few minutes later the guy tried again, "People say about the Pope ...
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