Purchasing a turkey

Q. What does a woman's asshole do when she is

having an orgasm?
A. He is usually home with the kids!
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Why don't chickens like people ?
They beat
eggs !
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A pastor went out one Saturday to visit his church members. At one house, it was obvious that someone was home, but nobody came to the door even though the preacher knocked several times. Finally, the preacher took out his card, wrote out "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it, and stuck it in the door.
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A college student picked up his date at her parents home. He'd scraped together every cent he had to take her to a fancy restaurant. To his dismay, she ordered almost everything expensive on the menu. Appetizers, lobster, champagne. . .the works.
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One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the
husband gently
taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her
arm. The wife
turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a
gynecologist
appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." The
husband, rejected, turns
over and tries to sleep.
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Knock Knock
Who's there !
Cartoon
!
Cartoon who ?
Cartoon up just fine, she purrs like a cat !
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What do you call an elephant with a

carrot in each ear ?
Anything you want as he can't hear you !
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Tech Support: "How may I help you today, sir?"

Customer: "Hello...hey, er...I think I've got the wrong software

installed in my computer."
Tech Support: "Why is that, sir?"

Customer: "I bought this minitower system from you, and it came loaded

with software called the 'XYZ Desktop'."
Tech Support:
"Yes...
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Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund.
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The teacher came up with a good problem.

"Suppose," she asked the second-graders, "there were a dozen sheep and
six
of them jumped over a fence. How many would be left?"
"None,"
answered little Norman.
"None? Norman, you don't know your
arithmetic."
"Teacher, you don't know your sheep. When one goes, they all

go!"
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