Racoon Joke

You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved and you don't have a clue as to when it happened. Your bookmark list takes 15 minutes to go from top to bottom. Your nightmares are in HTML and GIFS. You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
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Q. Why can't blonds work at the M & M Factory?A. They throw out all the "W"s.
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An out-of-towner drove his
car into a ditch
in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to
help with his
big strong horse named Buddy.

He hitched Buddy up to the car
and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull!"
Buddy didn't move.

Then
the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy didn't
respond.
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An
employee of USAir with the last name of
Gay boarded a USAir flight with
a free travel voucher. Soon after
he sat down, someone else came and
claimed he had the same seat
assignment, so Mr. Gay moved down do an
empty
seat. Soon after that
the airplane began to fill up.
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What 8-letter word has one
letter in
it?
Envelope.
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|A lawyer named Impos Syble was shopping for a tombstone. After he had made his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he would like on it. "Here lies an honest man and a lawyer," responded the lawyer. "Sorry, but I can't do that," replied the stonecutter. "In this state, it's against the law to bury two people in the same grave.
Category: Lawyer Jokes - 0 Comments

A firefighter died and went to hell where
he finds
a wall of clocks.
After seeing all these clocks on a
wall, with his friends names under
them, he asked the devil, what the
clocks mean?
"That's easy, each time one of your friends mess up on
earth, their
clock speeds up one hour." says the devil.
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Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Surely
not, sir. It must be one of those vitamin bees you hear so much

about.
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Why does Santa Claus only have seven

reindeer?
Because Prancer moved in with a hairdresser in Beverly
Hills.
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A priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogueacross the street from each other. Since their schedulesintertwined, they decided to go in together to buy a car.So they did. They drove it home and parked it in thestreet between their establishments. A few minutes later, the rabbi looked out and saw thepriest sprinkling water on their new car.
Category: Religion - 0 Comments