spit on my beer

Q: How many U.S
marines does it take to
screw in a light bulb ?
A: 50. One to screw in the light bulb and the
remaining 49 to guard him
.
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|Worried because they hadn't heard anything for days from the widow in the neighboring apartment, Mrs. Silver said to her son, "Timmy, would you go next door and see how old Mrs. Kirkland is?"A few minutes later, Timmy returned."Well," asked Mrs. Silver, "is she all right?""She's fine, except that she's angry at you.""At me?" the woman exclaimed.
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I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
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Why are chorus girls like barge horses?
They
have to tow the line!
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Why do women play with their hair at traffic lights?Because they don't have any balls to scratch.Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up in the morning?Because they don't have any balls to scratch.
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A guy came home to his wife and said to her: "Guess what? I've found a great job. A 10 AM start, 2 PM finish, no overtime, no weekends and it pays $600 a week!" "That's great," his wife said. "Yeah, I thought so too," he agreed. "You start on Monday."
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So there is this guy named Bubba who lives in the South who is totally racist. He hates everyone of ethnic background so much that when ever he sees anyone of color walking down the street he runs them over with his truck.
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|What do reindeer say before telling you a joke ?This one will sleigh you ! Why is a reindeer like a gossip ?Because they are both tail bearers ! Why do reindeer wear fur coats ?Because they would look silly in plastic macs ! How do you make a slow reindeer fast ?Don't feed it ! Why did the reindeer wear black boots ?Because his brown ones were
Category: Christmas Jokes - 0 Comments

Recruits were shocked at the language the

sergeant used in their unit. During a smoke break one young soldier
asked:
"Sergeant, where did you le-arn your
language?"

"Learnit, hell, it's a gift," proudly informed the NCO.
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You Know You're From California When...1. The fastest part of your commute is down your driveway2. Your were born somewhere else 3. You know how to eat an artichoke 4. The primary bugs that you worry about are electronic5. Your car has bulletproof windows6. Left is right and right is wrong7. Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income8.
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