The blind date had not been all that great and...

Once a man went to a resturant and ordered

an egg. When it was brought he didn't liked it so he informed the

waiter that the egg was bad.
Came the reply:
"I don't lay
egg sir I just lay table !"
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The Missing Toupee!On a senior citizen bus tour, the driver was surprised. While the passengers were unloading to do some sightseeing, one elderly lady stopped and whispered in his ear, "Driver, I believe that I was sexually harassed!"The driver didn't think much of this complaint, but promised he would check into it soon.
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Your ugly.
And you're drunk.
Yes, but in
the morning I'll be sober !
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Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders?A: Because they can't even keep two calves together!
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First cannibal: I don't know
what to
make of my husband these days.
Second cannibal: How about a curry?
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This German guy wanted to marry this Polish lady, but Poland had a law that you have to be Polish in order to marry someone that is Polish, so, in other words, he'd have to have 50% of his brain removed. So he goes to his doctor and says, "I've just got to marry this woman, I love her so much..."So the doctor says, "Well, it's risky, but okay.
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After each question, your say: "Rubber Jugs and Liquor".Q: What did you have for breakfast? A: Rubber Jugs and Liquor!Q: What did you have for lunch? A: Rubber Jugs and Liquor!Q: What did you have for supper? A: Rubber Jugs and Liquor! . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
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Have you ever seen Pop Idol? One point it was held at an esso gas station.This irishman came on to do a song. He stoodnext to the diesel pump, lit the place up and it exploded.He started singing "I'm Still Standing"!
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What happened when the schoool bully went
netsurfing?
The goalkeeper kicked him out of the football ground.
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Teacher: Where is the English Channel
?
Pupil: I don't know, my TV doesn't pick it up
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