Two nuns are walking down an alley...

A Jehovah's Witness knocked on the front door of a home, and heard a faint,high pitched, "Come In". He tried the door and it was locked, so he went around to the back door.He knocked again and heard again the high pitched "Come In". As he entered the kitchen a large, mean, snarling Doberman met him.
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One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. Apre-med student rudely interrupted to ask "Why do we have to learn thisstuff?""To save lives." the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture.A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. "So how does physicssave lives?" he persisted.
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Jill: Have you read the Bible?
Jack: No,
I'm waiting for the film to come round.
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Yo momma's so fat her butt looks like two pigs fighting over a Milk Dud!!
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December 14thDearest John:I went to the door today and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. What a delightful gift. I couldn't have been more surprised.With dearest love and affection, Agnes--------------------- -----------------December 15thDearest John:Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine, two turtle doves....
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The Smith's were proud of their family
tradition. Their
ancestors
had come to America on the Mayflower. They
had included Senators
and Wall Street wizards.

They decided to
compile a family history, a legacy for their
children and
grandchildren. They hired a fine author.
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It's time to turn your computer off and read a book when....1. You wake up at 3 am to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed.2. You name your children Eudora, AOL and dotcom.3. You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.4.
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I'm suffering from bad breath
You should
do something about it!
I did.
I just sent my wife to the
dentist.
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What is another way to describe
a cat ?
A
heat seeking missile !
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Clarification Of Corporate LingoEmployer's Lingo:"COMPETITIVE SALARY" We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors."JOIN OUR FAST-PACED TEAM" We have no time to train you."CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE" We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
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