Valentines for the Ex!

At a local coffee bar, a young woman was

expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her
friends.

"The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be

musical. Tell jokes. Sing. And stay home at night!"

An old
granny overheard and spoke up, "Honey, if that's all you want,
get
a TV!"
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One of the life's mysteries is how a two-poundbox of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.
Category: Women - 0 Comments

A man who isn't qualified keeps pestering this tailor about giving him a job selling suits. Finally, the owner tells him if he can sell this one green suit he will give him a job.Another employee points out to owner that they have had that suit on the rack for four years, and that it is such an ugly, green suit that nobody would ever buy it.
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Who do
zombie cowboys fight?

Deadskins.
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Q: What did Louis Farrakahn say to Mike Tyson

after the fight?
A: No stupid an Eye for an Eye!!!!
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While suturing a laceration on the hand of a 90 year old man (he got his hand caught in a gate while working his cattle)a doctor and the old man were discussing Bush's health care reform ideas. The old man said "Well, ya know, old Bush is a post turtle".So, not knowing what he meant the doctor asked him what a "post turtle" was.
Category: Politics - 0 Comments

|An American tourist in Moscow found himself needing to get rid of a large supply of garbage from his recent stay at an apartment. After a long search, he just couldn't find any place to discard of it. So, he just went down one of the side streets to dump it there.
Category: Ethnical Jokes - 0 Comments

What kind of monster can sit on the end of
your finger?
The bogeyman.
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What kind of clothes do lawyers
wear?
Lawsuits.
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|A clergyman walking down a country lane and sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off."You look hot, my son," said the cleric. "why don't you rest a moment, and I'll give you a hand.""No thanks," said the young man."My father wouldn't like it.""Don't be silly," the minister said.
Category: Farming Jokes - 0 Comments