Vampire jokes

My computer made a funny sound the other
day.
Of course, I've never heard it get thrown out a window before.
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Why are Canadians given only a half

hour for lunch?
They don't want to have to retrain them.
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What do you call a rabbit that plays with
foxes?
A dumb bunny.
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A guy comes into a bar and asks the barman for twelve-year-old scotch. The barman thinks "This guy is pretty pretentious" and proceeds to pour him a drink of six-year-old scotch.
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|At my cousin's wedding, my dad (who doesn't much care for his nephew's bride) thought it would be funny to flick his cigarette at her back as she walked down the aisle. It got caught in her hair and started to smolder. Her father had to get it out while she cried hysterically.
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|There was a woman who was pregnant with twins, and shortly before they were due, she had an accident and went into a coma. Her husband was away on business, and unable to be reached. While in the coma, she gave birth to her twins, and the only person around to name her children was her brother.
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My dog is great at math.
Really ?
Ask him
how much is two minus two.
But two minus two is nothing!

That's what he'll answer, nothing!
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Q: Why are Bill Clinton, Monica Lewinksy, and O.J. Simpson such bad golfers.A: Monica is a hooker, O.J. is a slicer and Bill doesn't know what hole to put it in.
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A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
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What do vampires have at eleven
o'clock
every day?
A coffin break.
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