Vampire jokes

What does a witch enjoy cooking
most?
Gnomelettes.
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Never trust a dog to watch your food. When your dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I look stupid?' don't answer. Never tell your mom her diet's not working. Stay away from prunes.Never pee on an electric fence. Don't squat with your spurs on.Don't pull dad's finger when he tells you to. When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
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What's black and
white, black and
white, black and white?
A nun rolling down a hill.
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Q: How does a blonde prepare for safe
sex?

A: She puts on rubber based lipstick.
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This guy wakes up one morning to find a gorilla in his tree. He looks in the phone book for a gorilla removal service until he finds one. "Is it a boy or girl Gorilla?" the service guy asks. "Boy," is the man's response. "Oh yeah, I can do it. I'll be right there," says the service guy.
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Sources close to President Clinton say he is proposing a newnational anthem for the United States, "Yank my Dandy Doodle!"
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What did you say to the policeman who spent

eight hours on the Internet?
Oh give it arrest.
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What are the only two kinds of men?Studs and duds.
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|A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant.His friend asks, "Didn't your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?"The businessman replies, "That's the accountant we're looking for."
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Q: How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?A: Two...but I don't know how they'd get in there!
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