Vampire jokes

What did the parrot say on Independence
Day?
Polly wants a firecracker!
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Two mountain bred GIs were wandering the streets of calcutta when an old woman walked by. "Hey, Billy Joe," one said, "I think that's Mother Teresa." "Your nuts." "I'm telling you."They approached the woman and one asked, "Are you Mother Teresa?" The old lady eyed them scornfully. "Fuck off, you goddamn perverts," she hissed, striding off.
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Who do
zombie cowboys fight?

Deadskins.
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Knock Knock
Who's there !
Arthur
!
Arthur who !
Arthene you in the butchers, haven't I ?
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A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday, and as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration he decided a pair of gloves would strike just the right note: romantic, but not too personal. Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister, he went to Nordstrom's and bought a pair of white gloves.
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Two bananas are lying on a river bank when a turd comes floating by. The turd looks over and says, "Hey! Come on in! The water's fine!" One banana turns to the other banana and says, "Do you believe that shit?"
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|A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them.
Category: Elderly Jokes - 0 Comments

What's a frogs favourite flower ?
A croakus
!
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A woman that was on her death-bed turned to her husband telling him he should get married soon after she'll die, to which the man said-OK.
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There were two guys walking down the streetand they saw a dog licking his nuts.One of the guys said. "Man I wish I could do that".Then the other guy said, "Man that dog will bite you!"!
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