Various animal jokes

Q: What do you get when you cross a 1-legged Polak with a Mongoloid?A: A Polaroid One-Step.
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The girl admitted under parental questioning that she was pregnant, but couldn't say who was responsible."All right !" bellowed her Mother, "you march yourself to your room, and don't come out until you can give us a definite answer."Later that nite her voice rang down the stairs. "Hey Mom, I think I have an idea now.
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|Boyle sat in a Belfast confessional. "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned," he said. "I've blown up three hundred miles of English railroad!" "All right, my son," admonished the priest. "For penance, finish off the stations!"
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|Where do you take sick ponies?To the horsepital!What do you say if you see a flying pig?'I see bacon's going up'!Who tells chicken jokes?Comedihens!What do you get if you cross pigs with a lot of grapes?A swine gut!Why did the chicken cross the road at the fairground?To get to the other side!What did the lovesick bull say to the cow?'When I fall
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An older couple were having trouble with their sex life, so the wife went to a sex therapist and was advised to try sexercises. He gave the wife a list of them to do each day.Later that night as the couple were getting ready for bed, the husband went to take a shower and the wife thought she'd try out her sexercises.
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The defendant who pleads his own case has a fool for a client, but at least there will be no problem with fee-splitting.Q: What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?A: A Doberman pinscher.Q: Why should lawyers wear lots of sunscreen when vacationing at a beach resort?A: Because they're used to doing all of their lying indoors.
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An angry husband returned home one night to find his wifein bed with a naked man. 'What are you doing' he shouted.To which his wife said to her lover 'See, I told you he was stupid'
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If a light sleeper sleeps lighter with the light on,does a hard sleeper sleep harder with a hard on?
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A recently divorced woman is walking along the beach contemplating how badlyscrewed she got over the divorce settlement, when she spies a magic lampwashing up onshore.She rubs the lamp, and out pops a magical genie!!The genie notices her anger and lets her vent her troubles to him.
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What do you give the paedophile who has everything?Another parish
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