Various animal jokes

Grandpa is running around in the nursing home with his privates hanging out of his pants screaming : "My penis just died, my penis just died!"The nurses calm him down,and he goes back to his room. The next day, grandpa is running around again with his privates hanging out, so the nurse asks him: "I thought you said yesterday that your penis died.
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This Polak came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I am home!"What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife.Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun and put it to his head. His wife started laughing."Don't laugh!" he screams. "You're next!"
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How many fishermen does it take to change a

light bulb?
One, but you should have seen the bulb, it must have
been THIS big.
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A couple of old guys were golfing
when one
said he was going to Dr. Taylor for a new set of dentures in
the
morning.

His friend remarked that he had gone to the same dentist a
few years
before. "Is that so?" the first said.
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Tyler was
excited about his first day at
school. So excited in fact, that only a few
minutes after class
started, he realized that he desperately needed to
go to the bathroom.
So, Tyler raised his hand politely to ask if he
could be excused.


Of course, the teacher said yes, but asked Tyler to be quick.
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Why does Hillary Clinton Wake Up At 5:30 Every Morning?To Make Sure That She Is The First Lady!
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Q: Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in
the
freezer?
A: So she could keep the refrigerator cold.
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WARNING: consumption of
alcohol may cause you to
roll over in the morning and see something
really scary (whose species
and or name you can't remember).
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ATTENTION :All citizens of Arkansas planning a trip to Washington, D.C. to visit Willy Jeff1. Before leaving for Washington, clean red mud from windshields and remove hog and chicken feed from pick-up bed.2. Any cardboard box can be made to look like a suitcase if brown shoe polish is smoothly applied. Boxes must have tops, but no ropes.
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Little Boy: What will communism be like when perfected?His Father: Everyone will have what he needs.LB: But what if there is a shortage of meat?HF: There will be a sign in the butcher shop saying,"No one needs meat today."
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