Various animal jokes

What's red and green and wears
boxing
gloves?
A fruit punch.
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A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where atrain stops. On my desk, I have a work station...
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Q: What do you get when you cross a midget with a prostitute?A: A little fucker about so tall.
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Two women, who are dog owners,
are arguing
which dog is smarter.
First woman: My dog is so smart. Every morning he
waits for the
paperboy to come around and then he takes a newspaper
and brings it to me.
Second woman: I know.
First one:
How?
Second one: My dog told me.
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Person 1: It must be terrible for an
opera singer to
realize that he can never sing again.
Person 2: Yes, but it's much more
terrible if he doesn't realize
it.
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A well known, rich business man's wife broke her hip. The business man got the best orthopedic surgeon in town to do the operation, which consisted of lining up the broken hip and putting in a screw to secure it.The operation went smoothly, and the doctor sent the business man a bill for $5,000 for his services.
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Did you hear about the guy who got his vasectomy done at Sears? -Every time he gets a hard-on, the garage door goes up.
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A man walked into the clubhouse and noticed a friend sitting in a corner wearing a neck brace.He sat down and asked his mate what happened."Well, I was playing golf and I hit my ball into the rough," replied his friend."Then I met a chick who was looking for her ball too. Finding mine, I thought I'd give her a hand.
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You go to a stock car race and don't need a program.
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Men are like plungers.
They spend most of their
lives in a hardware store or the
bathroom
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