Various animal jokes

What should you do
if your girlfriend starts
smoking?
Slow down and use a lubricant.
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Yo mama so lazy she's got a remote

control just to operate her remote!
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Mother is in the kitchen making supper for her family when her youngest daughter walks in.Child: Mother, where do babies come from?Mom: Well dear...a mommy and daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their room...they kiss and hug and have sex.(The daughter looks puzzled.
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This fellow comes to confession. "Father, he said, forgive mefor I have sinned."The priest asked, "What did you do, my son?""I lusted," the fellow replied."Tell me about it," the priest said.The fellow then related his story. "Father, I am a deliverymanfor UPS. Yesterday I was making a delivery in the affluentsection of the city.
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Q: What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common?A: Chances are they'll both end up in the gutter.
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Knock Knock
Who's there !
Cassie
!
Cassie who ?
Cassie the forest for the trees !
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Did you hear about the do-it-yourself

funeral?
They just loosen the earth and you sink down by
yourself.
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A little girl asked her father, "Daddy? Do all Fairy Tales begin with OnceUpon A Time?"And he replied, "No, there is a whole series of Fairy Tales that begin with 'If Elected I promise...'"
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Missing a layer of insulation in his attic. Monorail doesn't go all the way to Tomorrowland. Mooring lines don't reach the dock. More marbles in a spray-paint can than brains in his head. Mouth is in gear, brain is in neutral. Moves his lips to pretend he's reading. Must have ignored a knock-down pitch.
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Do you send e-mails on your home
computer?
What's the point?
I can just bring my home along with me and have a
chat.
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