Various animal jokes

How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas?They all gather around their cash registers and sing"What a Friend We Have In Jesus..."
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A fellow had just been
hired as the new
CEO of a large high tech
corporation. The CEO who was stepping down
met with him privately and
presented him with three numbered
envelopes. "Open these if you run up
against a problem you don't think
you can solve," he said.
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What great song is associated with

hamburgers and baseball?
'Steak Me Out to the Ballgame'!
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Husband: What do you love most, my

natural beauty or my body?

Wife: Your sense of humor.
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A blonde and a brunette are sky-diving. The

brunette jumps out the plane and pulls the cord - nothing
happens.
She pulls the emergency cord and still nothing.
The blonde jumps out
of the plane and yells "Oh! So you wanna race,
huh?"
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Doctor, Doctor my baby is the image

of his father
Never mind just so long as he's healthy!
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Why did the toad become a lighthouse keeper ?

He had his own frog horn !
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What do you get when you cross a Rooster with an owl?A Cock that can stay up all night!!
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Reporter: What made you
go out on that
dangerous pond ice and risk your life to save a friend?
Boy Hero: I
had to do it. He had my skates on.
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Coach Bobby Ross had put together the perfect

Lions team. The only thing he was missing was a good quarterback.
He had
scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, but he
couldn't
find a ringer quarterback who could ensure a Super Bowl
win.

Then one night, while watching CNN, he saw a war-zone scene
in Bosnia.
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