Various animal jokes

A guy walks into a bar and sits down next to a man who has a burlap sack and a little guy about a foot tall sitting on the bar playing a little piano. The guy that walked into the bar asks the man, "What's in the bag?" The man pulls out a genie lamp. The guy says, Wow! Can I have one of your wishes?" The man says, "I don't know.
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How do writers send e-mail?
On the
Inkernet.
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Q: Did you hear about the blonde that

almost caused a car accident?

A: The spare tire in her trunk blew
out.
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One day a kid asks his mom if he can take a shower with her. She says, "Sure son, but don't look up and don't look down."So they're taking a shower and the kid reaches up for the soap and he says, "Woo mama! What are those?"She says, "Those are my headlights." The kid says "Ahh.
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What's the
difference between a sick
elephant and seven days ?
One is a weak one and the other one week !
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Several years ago, the Catholic Church required women to wear a headcovering in order to enter the sanctuary. One Sunday a lady arrivedwithout her head covering. The priest informs her that she cannot enter without it. A few moments later, the lady re-appears wearing her blouse tied toher head.
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|Theater Guest A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater.When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat."The man groaned but didn't budge.The usher became impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager.
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I will not waste chalk... I will not skateboard in the halls... I will not burp in class... I will not draw naked ladies in class... I did not see Elvis... I will not call my teacher `Hot Cakes'... Garlic gum is not funny... They are laughing at me, not with me... I will not yell 'fire' in a crowded classroom... I will not encourage others to fly..
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You know you're not a kid anymore when...You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.You can live without sex, but not without glasses.Your back goes out more than you do.You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.You buy a compass for the dash of your car.You are proud of your lawn mower.
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Your money or your life
by Stan Den
Deliver
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