Various animal jokes

Why don't other bugs like earwigs ?
Because
they are always earwigging their conversations !
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A MAN'S SCHEDULE 1. Get up. 2. Pass gas. 3. Drink cup of black coffee. 4. Pass gas. 5. Dress, skipping shower because "alarm didn't work". 6. Pass gas. 7. Log on to computer to check porn site before leaving for work. Pass gas while "enjoying" favorite site. 6. Drive to work. Pass gas at stop light. Open window to air out car. 7.
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Let a pig and a boy have everything they want, and you'll get a good pig and a bad boy.
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If a man talking dirty to a woman is sexual harassment, what do you call a woman talking dirty to a man? $3.99 a minute!
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BANNED CHILDREN'S BOOKSDad's New Wife Timothy Pop! Goes the Hamster...and Other Great Microwave Games How to Become the Dominant Military Power In Your Elementary School Safe Sex and the Zip-Lock Bag Testing Homemade Parachutes With Nothing At All But Your Household Pets Egghead - and Other Things Mrs.
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Q. How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb? A. None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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A guy was driving his car at the speed of 80 mph when he saw the flashing red and blue lights.Thinking that the cop might not be able to catch him, he accelerated to 110 mph. He finally came to some sense and pulled over to the side. The cop stepped out, took his license and examined it without a word.
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The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office. "What is your name?" Was the first thing the manager asked the new guy."John," the new guy replied.
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Why are elephants grey ?
So you can tell
them from flamingos !
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Why do burgers run the gauntlet?
To test
their meattle!
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