Various animal jokes

How does a Russian commit suicide? He smells his armpit How does an American commit suicide? He tells this joke to a Russian.
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Father Christmas: What's your
favourite
Christmas story?
Elf: The one where the three creatures are scared
of the Big Bad Wolf
and they grow on trees!
Father Christmas: You
mean 'The Three Little Figs'.
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Knock Knock
Who's there !
Argo
!
Argo who ?
Argo down the shops ! Kn
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A man was
caught for speeding and went
before the judge.

The judge said, "What will you take....30 days or
$30."

The man replied, "I think I'll take the money."
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Where do you get frogs eggs ?
At the spawn
shop !
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"I'm in love with my horse," the nervous man told his psychiatrist. "Nothing to worry about," the psychiatrist consoled. "Many peopleare fond of animals.As a matter of fact, my wife and I have a dog that we are veryattached to.""But, doctor," continued the troubled patient, "I feel, ummm... *physically* attracted to my horse.
Category: Medicine - 0 Comments

An old lady walked in to the post
office to
buy stamps and as she was short-sighted the clerk offered to
stick
the stamps on for her.

`Wait a minute,' he said, `you've
written the address upside down.'


`I know,' said the little
old lady, `the letter is going to
Australia.'
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It was late one night and three guys just got done partying. So they needed to find a motel. So they find a super8 motel. They go in to the clerk and get one room because that was all that they could afford. They get to there room and there is only one bed so quickly one guy says, "I get the bed." Then another guy says, "I get the bathroom.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

God created man before creating woman, because you need a rough draft before you create a masterpiece.
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Two friends are shopping in a drugstore when one of them tells the other, "My husband says this brand here is the most effective ointment for hemorrhoids on the market today.""How does he know this for sure though?" asked the other woman."Because besides being my husband who thinks he's always right, he's also an asshole himself."
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