Vocal jokes

|Q: How do you tell when your lead singer is at the door?A: He can't find the key and doesn't know when to come in.Q: What is the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and an All-Pro offensive lineman?A: Stage makeup.Q: How many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb?A: One. He holds the bulb while the world revolves around him.Q: What is the difference between a soprano and a Porsche?A: Most musicians have never been inside a Porsche.Q: Did you hear about the female opera singer who had quite a range at the lower end of the scale.A: She was known as the deep C diva.Q: What is the missing link between the bass and the ape?A: The baritone.Q: What is the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and a Wagnerian Tenor?A: About 10 pounds.Q: How can you tell when a tenor is really stupid?A: When the other tenors notice.Ever hear the one about the tenor who was so off-key that even the other tenors could tell?Q: How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?A: Six. One to do it, and five to say, "It's too high for him."Q: What's the inscription on dead blues-singers tombstones?A: "I didn't wake up this morning..."Person 1: It must be terrible for an opera singer to realize that he can never sing again.Person 2: Yes, but it's much more terrible if he doesn't realize it.Q: Dad, why do the singers rock left and right while performing on stage?A: Because, son, it is more difficult to hit a moving target.Q: Mom, why do you always stand by the window when I practice for my singing lessons?A: I don't want the neighbours to think I'm employing corporal punishment, dear.Q: How many altos does it take to change a light bulb?A: None. They can't get up that high.Q: How many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb?A: None. Get the drummer to do it.Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.