Waiter jokes

"Grandma, why don't you
drink tea
anymore?" "I don't like it ever since that tea bag got
stuck in my
throat."
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What makes a man think he's so great ? 1) He has a belly button that won't work. 2) He has tits that won't give milk. 3) He has a cock that won't crow. 4) He has balls that won't roll. 5) He has an ass that won't carry a thing.
Category: Men - 0 Comments

A belligerent drunk walks into a bar and hollers:"I can lick any man in the place!"The nearest customer looks him up and down,then says: "Crude, but direct. Tell me, is this yourfirst time in a gay bar?"
Category: Science - 0 Comments

The Perfect Day According To:HER8:45 Wake up to hugs and kisses9:00 5 pounds lighter on the scale9:30 Light breakfast11:00 Sunbathe12:30 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe1:45 Shopping2:30 Run into boyfriend's/husband's ex - notice she's gained 30 lbs3:00 Facial, massage, nap7:30 Candlelight dinner for two and dancing10:00 Make love11:30
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

|Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to them.May you be too good for the world and not good enough for your wife.May you grow so rich your widow's second husband never has to worry about a living, God forbid.May you live happily ever after with a poor, ugly, shrewish wife.May you never leave your marriage alive.
Category: Marriage Jokes - 0 Comments

Fred wrote in her homework book: Margarine is

butter made from imitation cows.
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Did you hear about the village idiot

buying bird seed?
He said he wanted to grow some birds.
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Did you hear about the idiot who

planted Cheerios in his backyard?
He thought they were donut
seeds.
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I can't understand why people say my
girlfriend's legs look like
matchsticks. They do look like sticks - but
they certainly don't
match.
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Why wouldn't the vampire
eat his
soup?
It clotted.
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