Waiter jokes

OLD telephone directories make ideal personal address books. Simply crossout the names and address of people you don't know. FOOL other drivers intothinking you have an expensive car phone by holding an old TV or video remotecontrol up to your ear and occasionally swerving across the road and mountingthe curb.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

I love to go to the dentist. A man in white hovering over me while I'm trapped helpless in a chair. He cleans me. He flosses me. His instruments alive in my mouth.And just when I don't think I can take it anymore, he says, 'Good girl, Marcie, you can spit now.' - Marcie, from the "Married With Children" sitcom.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

A blonde's house is on fire. She runs outside

and yells, "Help me! My house is on fire! What do I do?!"


Someone else yells, "Call 911!"

The blonde yells back, "What's
the number?"
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A kid called up his
mom from his college
and asked her for some money, because he ran out
of it. His mom
said, "Sure, sweetie. I'll will send you some money.
You also left
your calculus book here when you visited 2 weeks ago. Do
you want me
to send that up too?"

"Uhh, oh yeah, okay," responded the
kid.
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What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

I was walking down an alley last night, when I heard,"Help! Help!" coming from behind a dumpster. Two thugswere trying to steal an old lady's handbag, but sheputting up a Hell of a fight and wouldn't let go. I wondered if I should get involved, or keep walkingand pretend I didn't see anything... I finally decidedthat I should help.
Category: Situations - 0 Comments

Your momma so fat, when she goes to the aquarium the whales sing "WE ARE FAMILY."
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

How are a husband and a cat similar when it comes to housework?They're both afraid of the vacuum cleaner.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

How does a women hold her liquor?By the ears.
Category: ROOT - 0 Comments

What do you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness and an atheist?Someone who knocks on your door for no reason whatsoever.If God is dead, then what are they giving out at communion?
Category: Religion - 0 Comments