Waiter jokes

Three cowboys
were hanging out in the
bunkhouse. "I know that smart aleck Tex,"
said the first. "He's going to
start bragging about that new foreign car
he bought as soon as he
gets back."

"Not Tex," the second cowboy replied. "He'll always
be just a good
ol' boy. When he walks in, I'm sure all he'll say
is hello.
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My grand-daddy worked in a blacksmith shop when he was a young fella, and he used to tell me, when I was a little nipper, how he had toughened himself up so he could stand the hard work of blacksmithing.One story was how he had developed his arm and shoulder muscles.
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Mother: Fred, why did you put a slug in your
grandma's
bed? Fred: Because I couldn't find a snake.
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A Jehovah's Witness knocked on the front door of a home, and heard a faint,high pitched, "Come In". He tried the door and it was locked, so he went around to the back door.He knocked again and heard again the high pitched "Come In". As he entered the kitchen a large, mean, snarling Doberman met him.
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|A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands."Doctor," says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. "Will I be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?""I don't see why not," replies the doctor."That's funny," says the man.
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"Cash, check or charge?" I asked after
folding items the
woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet
I notice a
remote control for a television set in her purse.


"Do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.

"No," she
replied.
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What do bees do if they want to use public

transport ?
Wait at a buzz stop !
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Why do postmen carry letters?
Because the
letters can't go anywhere by themselves.
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One day a little old nun was going 35 miles an hour down the highway. The cop pulled her over because she was so slow and asked her why she didn't go any faster.She pointed at the sign that said highway 35 on it and said that was the speed limit. The cop corrected her and told her that it was highway35.
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|A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and ordered their drinks from the bartender.Brunette: "I'll have a B and C."Bartender:"What is a B and C?".Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke."Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and T."Bartender: "What's a G and T?"Redhead: "Gin and tonic."Blonde: "I'll have a 15."Bartender: "What's a 15?"Blonde: "7 and 7"
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