Waiter jokes

Why did the Ape jump off the building?
He
wanted to show the world the stuff he was made of!
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Why did a gambler scare everyone out

swimming?
He was a card shark!
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A drunk stumbles along a baptismal service on Sunday afternoon down by the river.He proceeds to walk down into the water and stand next to the preacher. The minister turns and notices the old drunk and says, "Mister, are you ready to find Jesus?"The drunk looks back and says, "Yes, Preacher, I sure am.
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On preparing to return home from an out of town trip,this man got a small puppy as a present for his son.Not having time to get the paper work to take the puppyonboard, the man just hid the pup down the front of hispants and snunk him onboard the airplane.. About 30minutes into the trip a stew noticed the man shakingand quivering.
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What's an actuary?
An accountant without
the sense of humour.
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What's the difference between a nun and a woman taking a shower?The nun has hope in her soul.
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There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet.After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, "Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?"The third fellow says, "I'll tell you.
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What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato?A DICTATOR!!
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A man was wandering around a fairground and he happened to see afortune-teller's tent. Thinking it would be good for a laugh, hewent inside and sat down. "Ah....." said the woman as she gazedinto her crystal ball. "I see you are the father of two children.""That's what you think," said the man scornfully. "I'm the fatherof THREE children.
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Excerpts from Readers's Digest. -------------------------- -------------------------- -------------------------- -- My 4 year old son came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage.
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