Waiter jokes

What do you call a one-eyed dinosaur?A doyouthinkhesaurus!
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Why didn't the dog
speak to his foot
?
Because it's not polite to talk back to your paw !
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your mama so fat she was going to
walmart
tripped over kmart and landed right on target!!!
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How can you shorten a bed?
Don't sleep long in
it.
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Angela went up to her mom and ask if she could take missy for awalk. Her mom said no, that missy was in heat."What is heat?" Mom said go ask your Dad, he is outside working oncar.Angela goes outside and ask her Dad if she can take missy for awalk, her Mom had said no, that missy was in heat. "What is heatDad"?Go get the leash and bring her here.
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One day there
were these three boys
walking down
the street, all of a sudden they heard a yell: 'HELP!
HELP!'
When the boys got to the noise they saw Bill
Clinton in a
lake drowning. The three boys saved
him from drowning. Bill Clinton
asks the first
boy how he could ever repay him. The boy said,
'I
want a boat.
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A couple was celebrating their golden wedding
anniversary.
Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of
the town, and on
this special occasion, a local newspaper reporter
paid them a visit. He
inquired as to the secret of their long and
happy marriage.

"Well," explained the husband, "it all goes back
to our honeymoon.
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Judge: You stated that the stairs went down to

the basement, is that correct?
A: Yes.
Judge: And these same
stairs, did the also go up?
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Yo mama is so fat...that she broke a branch
in
her
family tree!
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Q: Why don't Deputy Fire Marshals look
out
the window in the morning?
A: So they have something to do in
the afternoon.
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