
Want a day off work?
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|So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for. There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours each day away fron work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 91 days available. You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break which counts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days available. With a 1 hour lunch each day, you used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work. You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave. This leaves you only 20 days per year available for work. We are off 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days. We generously give 14 days vacation per year which leaves only 1 day available for work and I'll be darned if you are going to take that day off!
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Recent Canadian government research has shown that cigarette smoking not only impairs sexual ability, it actually causes shrinkage of the male sexual "equipment." Wow! If that is true, we need to get the word out ASAP! Maybe the warning on the cigarette packs should be updated to reflect this new information.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Tim once took his small cousin with him while
he went
fishing: When he returned, he was looking very fed up.
"I'll never do
that again," he complained to his Dad. "Did she
frighten off the
fish?" enquired Dad. "No," replied Tim. "She sat on the
bank and ate
all my maggots."
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he went
fishing: When he returned, he was looking very fed up.
"I'll never do
that again," he complained to his Dad. "Did she
frighten off the
fish?" enquired Dad. "No," replied Tim. "She sat on the
bank and ate
all my maggots."
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Driving to work, a gentlman had to swerve to
avoid a box that fell
out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a
policeman pulled him
over for reckless driving. Fortunately,
another officer had seen the
carton in the road. The policmen stopped
traffic and recovered the box. It
was found to contain large
upholstery tacks.
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avoid a box that fell
out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a
policeman pulled him
over for reckless driving. Fortunately,
another officer had seen the
carton in the road. The policmen stopped
traffic and recovered the box. It
was found to contain large
upholstery tacks.
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Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar. One complained to the other, "Boy, business sucks. If I don't sell more cars this month, I'm going to lose my fucking arse."Too late he noticed a beautiful blonde sitting two stools away. Immediately, he apologized for his bad language.
Category: Situations - 0 Comments
Category: Situations - 0 Comments
Teacher: Fred, I'm glad to see your writing
has improved.
Pupil: Thank you
Teacher: Now I can see how bad
your spelling is though !
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has improved.
Pupil: Thank you
Teacher: Now I can see how bad
your spelling is though !
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What do you get if you cross an elephant with
the
Internet?
I don't know, but it's e-nourmous.
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the
Internet?
I don't know, but it's e-nourmous.
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A man with a bad stomach complaint goes to his local doctor and asks him what he can do. The doctor replies that the illness is quite serious but can be cured with a small course of two suppositories inserted deep up the back passage.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments


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