Weather jokes

A wildlife biologist crew
leader has
several crews, each consisting of two biologists. The crews
camped and
worked in the woods and he made his rounds to visit each pair
every
few days.
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Knock Knock
Who's there !
Bruce
!
Bruce who ?
I Bruce easily, don't hit me !
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yo momma's so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger popped out of George Washington's nose!
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Here's a sick one...So at the funeral home, the widow instructs the mortician to cut offher late husband's penis and shove it up his rectum. The morticianobjects, but threatening not to pay, he relents. Later, at the coffinclosing, the wife bends down to kiss her husband goodbye, and she sees atear coming from his eye.
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Why are football grounds odd?
Because you can
sit in the stands but can't stand in the sits!
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A young executive was leaving the office late

one evening, when he finds the CEO standing in front of a shredder
with
a piece of paper in his hand.

"Listen," said the CEO,
"this is a very sensitive and important
document here, and my
secretary has gone for the night.
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The Pentagon once did a study on why so many
American Servicemen marry
women in the countries where they're
stationed. Contrary to popular
belief, loneliness had nothing to do
with it. Once the men rotated back to
the US, all their in-laws were
thousands of miles away.
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A young woman on a rough Atlantic crossing was in her cabin undressing then suddenly she was overcome by sea sickness. In a panic she rushed into the corridor and headed for the bathroom. It was not until she collided with an elderly gentleman that she realized she didn't have a stitch of clothing on.Horrified, she let out a shriek.
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Who are the five most constipated men in the Old Testament?1) Cain wasn't Abel.2) Moses went up onto the mountain and took two tablets.3) King David sat on the throne for forty years.4) Solomon - neither heaven nor Earth could move him.5) Noah was at sea for forty days and forty nights and all he passed was water.
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Doctor, Doctor I keep
thinking
I'm invisible
Who said that?
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