Weather jokes

Knock Knock
Who's there !
Bach !
Bach
who ?
Bach to work!
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1st Monster: What is that son of
yours
doing these days ?
2nd Monster: He's at medical school.
1st
Monster: Oh, what's he studying ?
2nd Monster: Nothing, they're studying
him!
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A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip.
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What does a lesbian think the string on the end of a tampoon is for? For flossing after eating.
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Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to
prison. During his stay, he
got along well with the guards and all his
fellow inmates. The warden saw
that deep down, Andy was a good
person and made arrangements for Andy
to learn a trade while doing his
time.
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A neutron walks into a bar.

"I'd like a beer" he says.
The bartender promptly serves up a
beer.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
"For you?"
replies the bartender, "no charge"
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A string walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink.The bartender replies "I'm sorry, We don't serve strings"The string, angry, runs to the bathroom and ties himself up into knots until his ends are frayed.Then he walks back out and asks the bartender for a drink."Hey, aren't you the string I just talked to?" The bartender asks.
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What's brown and white and flies all
over?
Thanksgiving turkey, when you carve it with a chain saw!
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A housewife, an accountant and a lawyer were asked "How much is 2 2?" The housewife replies: "Four!".The accountant says: "I think it's either 3 or4. Let me run those figures through my spreadsheet one more time."The lawyer pulls the drapes, dims the lights and asks in a hushed voice, "How much do you want it to be?"
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Radar: "Flight 1234, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees."Pilot: "Roger, but we are at 35,000 feet, how much noise can we make up here?"Radar: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 727 makes when it hits a 747?"
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