What a large crowd

What is an archaeologist ? Someone who's career
is in ruins !
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Clarification Of Corporate LingoEmployer's Lingo:"COMPETITIVE SALARY" We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors."JOIN OUR FAST-PACED TEAM" We have no time to train you."CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE" We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
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The
American tourist in Dublin had been
complaining a great deal about the
food.

"Here," he said to the
waitress holding out a piece of meat for
inspection, "do you call
that pig?"

"Which end of the fork, sir?" the waitress asked
sweetly.
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On their 40th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration. "Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?" Tom responds, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all.
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There was a man at a gas station, pumping gas into his truck. Whilepumping he got gas on his arm. He wiped some of it off, then forgotabout it. He paid for his gas and got in the truck.As he was driving down the road, he lit up a cigarette, and the gason his arm caught on fire.
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There is
a new Barbie doll on the
market - Mortal Kombat Barbie ...includes more
blood than you can even
imagine
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Who went into a witche's den and came out

alive ?
The witch !
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A middle-aged man recieves a brazillian parrot for hisbirthday. The only problem with this parrot is its attitudedue to the influence of its former owner, who is now adeceased truck driver. The parrot loves to swear up and downat everything it sees. One day the man comes home with agorgeous woman for a candle lit dinner.
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Q1: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?A: There's white-out on the screen.Q2: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?A: There's writing on the white-out.Q: How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries?A: She has a checkbook.Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent to a blonde?A: There is a stamp on it.
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An elderly woman went into the doctor?s office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I?d like to have some birth control pills." Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you?re 75 years old.
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