What do you call a Highlander with four sheep?

The little rascals were in class and the teacher was giving them a vocabulary lesson. The teacher said, "Alfalfa, use the word love in a sentence". Alfalfa replies, "I love Darla".The teacher said, "Good...now Spanky your word is respect". Spanky replies, "I respect the way Alfalfa loves Darla".
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A brunette was walking on the railroad tracks saying, "21...21....21...." when a blonde jumped on. A train came and the brunette jumped off...the train hit the blonde. The Brunette then got back onto the tracks and started saying, "22.....22......22....."
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What do you call a ghost in a torn

sheet?
A holy terror.
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My brother's a professional boxer.
Heavyweight ?
No, featherweight. He tickles his opponents to death !
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A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car."They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator!" he cried out. The police were dumbfounded and dispatched an officer to the scene.However, before the police arrived, the phone rang a second time with the same voice came over the line.
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Very early one morning two birds are sitting at the side of a largepuddle of oil. They see a worm on the other side.So... the one flies over and the other one swims through-which onegets to the worm first?The one who swam, of course, because "Da oily boid gets da woim."
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So the bus
driver said to the string, "Are
you a string?" and the string said,
"No, I'm afraid not". (A frayed
knot).
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How do you know when the barmaid is really pissed off?When you find a string in your bloody mary.
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Why did the blonde stand in front of a mirror with his eyes closed? He wanted to see what he looked like asleep.
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The common symptoms of swine flu are: High fever, upset stomach, occasional cramps and an irresistible urge to fuck in the mud...
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