What do you call an armless, legless leper in a swimming pool?

A monster went to the doctor with a branch

growing out of his head.
"Hmmm," said the doctor. "I've no idea
what it is."
The next week the branch was covered in leaves and
blossom.
"I'm stumped," said the doctor, "but you can try taking these

pills.
Category: More Jokes - 0 Comments

What does Ted Kennedy have that Bill Clinton wishes he had?? An ex-wife and a dead girl friend.
Category: Politics - 0 Comments

Hey, you just shot my wife.
I'm so sorry,
have a shot at mine !
Category: More Jokes - 0 Comments

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?The real question is: How much can the light bulb afford tobe screwed for?
Category: Legal - 0 Comments

Soon after the Texas Aggie clocked in for work, the foreman called him over and told him that he had a phone call in the front office. When the Aggie returned, he had a mournful expression on his face and his head hung low. His foreman noticed and asked if he had received bad news.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

A guy goes to buy a train ticket, and the girl selling tickets has an incredible set of jugs.He says, "Give me two pickets to Titsburgh...umm...I mean, two tickets to Pittsburgh". He's really embarrassed...The guy in line behind him says, "Relax, pal. We all make Freudian slips like that.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

It was so hot today I saw
a robin picking
earthworms out of the ground with a pair of tongs.
Category: More Jokes - 0 Comments

|The local District Judge had given the defendant a lecture on the evils of drink. But in view of the fact that this was the first time the man had been drunk and incapable, the case was dismissed on payment of ten shillings costs. "Now don't let me ever see your face again," said the Justice sternly as the defendant turned to go.
Category: Irish Jokes - 0 Comments

The Numbers of the Beast OK, we all know that 666 is the Number of the Beast.But did you know that:660 - Approximate number of the BeastDCLXVI - Roman numeral of the Beast666.0000 - Number of the High Precision Beast0.
Category: Computers - 0 Comments

Teddy came thundering down the stairs, much to
his father's
annoyance.
'Teddy,' he called, 'how many more
times have I got to tell you to
come down the stairs quietly? Now,
go back up and come down like a
civilised human being.'
There
was a silence, and Teddy reappeared in the front room.
'That's
better,' said his father.
Category: More Jokes - 0 Comments