What goes in and out and smells of piss?

An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a casket containing a mummy. After examining it, he called the curator of a prestigious natural history museum."I've just discovered a 3,000 year old mummy of a man who died of heart failure!" the excited scientist exclaimed.To which the curator replied, "Bring him in.
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Doctor, Doctor,
I think I'm a
bridge.
What's come over you?
Oh, two cars, a large truck and a
coach.
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Birdwatching
by Jack Daw
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Why did the monster put the
cake in the
freezer?
Because he had been told to ice it.
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There was this 8 year old kid who lived with his 82 year old grandma. He had been living with her for some time, and he thought, that with all the work she does, he could at least make her a cup of coffee in the morning. So he woke up early one day, and made a cup of coffee and brought it to his grandma. She took one drink of it and died instantly.
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Why did the guru refuse Novacaine when he went to his dentist?He wanted to transcend dental medication.
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10 reasons why a dog doesn`t use a computer:10. T0o0p hqa5rxd 6tt0[o 6ty[p3e 2w9igtjh;pa3wds (It`s hard to type with paws)9. 'Sit' and 'stay' were hard enough; 'delete' and 'save' are out of the question.8. Saliva-coated floppy disks refuse to work.7. Carpal Paw Syndrome.6. Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway he`s browsing www.purina.
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Q:
Did you hear about the Jewish Santa
Claus?
A: He comes down the chimney, wakes up the children and
says,
"Hey kids, do you want to buy some toys?"
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Q: How many Polish-Americans does it take

to screw in a light bulb?
A: 170. One to send the Never Fail Novena
to the Cheektowaga Times for
publication so St.
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Q: What's Osama Bin Laden going to be for

Halloween?
A: Dead.
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