What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy...

A gentleman is permitted to join a private club. The initiation consists of holding an unprepared on-the-spot lecture, on a theme starting on a letter which is alotted to him.The man gets an S, and chooses to give his impromptu lecture on Sex. Coming home and reporting to his wife, he chickens out and says that he spoke about Sailing.
Category: Dirty Jokes - 0 Comments

Two men are in a bar are boasting about their prowess and one of them says, "My cock is longer than that cat's tail."A bet is made, the bartender supplies a ruler, and the cat is roused and measured.But when the bartender begins the second measurement, the stud says, "Just a moment! Where did you measure that cat's tail from?""From the asshole.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

Mom: Joe, time for your medicine.
Joe: I'll
run the bath then.
Mom: Why?
Joe: Because on the bottle it says
"to be taken in water."
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While cruising at 40,000 feet, the airplane shuddered and Mr. Smith looked out the window. "Good lord!" he screamed, "one of the engines just caught fire!" Other passengers left their seats and came running over; suddenly the aircraft was rocked by a second blast as yet another engine caught fire on the other side.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments

|The doctor tells his patient: "Well I have good news and bad news..." The patient says, "Lay it on me Doc. What's the bad news?" "You have Alzheimer's disease." "Good heavens! What's the good news?" "You can go home and forget about it!"
Category: Elderly Jokes - 0 Comments

Q: What do the Republicans have that Bill

Clinton wishes he had?
A: A mandate to govern.
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A tourist was being led through the
swamps of Florida. "Is it
true," he asked, "that an alligator
won't attack you if you carry a
flashlight?"
"That depends," replied
the guide, "on how fast you carry the
flashlight."
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Attorney to witness: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?"Witness: "Where am I Cathy?"Attorney: "And why did that upset you?"Witness: "Because my name is Susan."
Category: Relationships - 0 Comments

Fred: "Why are you so upset?"
Harry:
"My wife introduced me to her psychiatrist this morning."
Fred: "So
what?"
Harry: "So she said to him, 'Doctor, this is my husband.
You know,
one of the men I've been telling you about'."
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A red-faced judge convened court
after a
long lunch. The first case involved a man charged with drunk
driving
who claimed it simply wasn't true.

"I'm as sober as you are,
your honor," the man claimed.

The judge replied, "Clerk, please
enter a guilty plea. The defendant
is sentenced to 30 days."
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