What's the difference between a policeman's knightstick and...

A programmer was walking along the beach when
he found a lamp.
Upon rubbing the lamp a genie appeared who stated
"I am the most
powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any
wish you want, but only one
wish.
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Did you hear about the blonde who just bought an A.M. radio? It took her two weeks to figure out that you could play it at night.
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Dad: Don't be
selfish. Let
your brother use the sled half the time.
Son: I do, Dad. I use it going
down the hill and he gets to use it
coming up!
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A tornado walks into a bar and orders a

Hurricane. The bartender asks why he is ordering a Hurricane when he is a

tornado. The tornado responds with, "I am a hurricane induced

tornado".
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|Worried because they hadn't heard anything for days from the widow in the neighboring apartment, Mrs. Silver said to her son, "Timmy, would you go next door and see how old Mrs. Kirkland is?"A few minutes later, Timmy returned."Well," asked Mrs. Silver, "is she all right?""She's fine, except that she's angry at you.""At me?" the woman exclaimed.
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You know yer a redneck when you take a load to the dump and bringback more than you took.
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A woman has just started to play golf when she gets stung on the arm by a bee. She rushes back to the clubhouse, hoping to find a doctor. She asks, "Is anyone here a doctor."One guy, who was pretty drunk, stands up and says, "I'm a doctor, what can I help you with?""I've been stung by a bee.
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Here is a story about a famous food critic's recent visit to Europe last summer. He had a delightful time sampling the cusine in Italy, France and Germany, but he made the mistake of stopping off in London on the way home.Needless to say, he found English food bland and overcooked.
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The judge said to Mickey "I can not grant you a divorce from Minney, there is no evidence that she is crazy" and Mickey said, "I didnt say she was crazy, I said she was fuckin' Goofy!"
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This fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important to own an equallyfundamentally Christian pet. So, they went shopping.At a kennel specializing in this particular breed, they found a dog theyliked quite a lot. When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash.
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