Where lawers come from

Yo mama is so hairy, that Bigfoot tried
to
take her picture!
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I'm not going back to school ever again
Why
ever not?
The teacher doesn't know a thing, all she does is ask

questions!
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|Q: What happened when the lion ate the comedian?A: He felt funny!Q: What's striped and bouncy?A: A tiger on a pogo stick!Q: What is the cat's favorite TV show?A: The evening mews!Q: How can you get a set of teeth put in for free?A: Smack a lion!Q: What's worse than raining cats and dogs?A: Hailing taxi cabs!Q: How is cat food sold?A: Usually purr
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MAKING COFFEE Making a cup of coffee is like making love to a beautiful woman. It's got to be hot. You've got to take your time. You've got to stir.. gently, and firmly. You've got to grind your beans until they squeak. And then you put in the milk. LAYING A CARPET Laying a carpet is.. very much like making love to a beautiful woman.
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|Theorem: All numbers are equal.Proof: Choose arbitrary a and b, and let t = a + b. Thena + b = t(a + b)(a - b) = t(a - b)a^2 - b^2 = ta - tba^2 - ta = b^2 - tba^2 - ta + (t^2)/4 = b^2 - tb + (t^2)/4(a - t/2)^2 = (b - t/2)^2a - t/2 = b - t/2a = bSo all numbers are the same, and math is pointless.
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What is the difference between a banana and a
bell?
You can only peel (peal) the banana once.
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Once there were two chinese
gentlemen named
Mr. Ho and Mr. Chen. They were neighbors but happened to be
very
competitive. One day Mr. Ho decided to start a shoe business, he

named his store WE DO SHOE. now Mr. Chen decided he must compete with Mr.

Ho, so he started a shoe business right next door to Mr.
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Q. Where is the best place in a book
store to
find a man who is handsome,
a good lover and a stimulating
partner?

A. In the pages of a romance novel.
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Man l: "I got my wife a VCP
for her
birthday"
Man 2: "Don't you mean a VCR?"
Man 1: "No, a VCP . . .
Very Cheap Present!"
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Doctor, Doctor, my little brother
thinks he's a computer.
Well bring him in so I can cure him.
I
can't, I need to use him to finish my homework.
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