Which drummer?

Father:
How do you like going to
school?
Son: The going bit is fine, as is the coming home bit too, but I'm
not
too keen on the time in-between!
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Why was the farmer
hopping mad ?

Because someone had trodden on his corn !
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Q: Why did the blonde give up bowling for

screwing?

A: The balls are lighter, and you don't have to change
shoes.
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How can you kill an idiot with half a dollar?

Throw it under a bus.
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A motorist pulls up to the gas pumps and says "fill it up, please". The Attendant notices that the front and back seats of the car areoccupied by penguins."Hey Buddy" says the attendant to the driver, "These birds can't be happy like this...they're wild animals, you should take them to a zooor something.." The motorist agrees to do so.
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Two guys
were in a bar,
and they were both watching the television when the news
came on.
It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously

suicidal. "I'll bet you $10 he'll jump," said the first guy. "Bet
you
$10 he won't," said the second guy.
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Q: How can you tell if it
was a shared
computer used by many staffers?
A: There is writing on the
White-out.
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MICHAEL KENNEDY What's the difference between John Denver and Michael Kennedy? John Denver made it alive out of Aspen. Has Elton John re-written any of his songs for Michael Kennedy? Not yet, but he's done one about the tree: "I'm Still Standing" How can you be sure that Michael was really a Kennedy? Check the family tree.
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What squeaks as it solves crimes ?
Miami
mice !
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A good husband is the light of his wife's life. But some wives are getting fed up with seeing their lights go out every night!
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