Why did the blonde crash her plane when landing?

Why was the monster sitting in his Easter

basket?
He was trying to hatch his peanut butter eggs!
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Q: Did you hear about the Irishman who went to the toilet?A: He wiped the chain and pulled himself.
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This snow plow driver from North Dakota got married. He and his new Bride prepared for their wedding nite. He watched for a while as she spread three different kinds of creams and then a white foam in preparation for their love making. She finally announced that she was ready.
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A mother was teaching her
3-year-old the
Lord's prayer. For several evenings at bedtime she
repeated it
after her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The
mother
listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right
up
to the end of the prayer.
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The pentagon recently found it had too many generals and offered an early retirement bonus. They promised any general who retired right away, his full annual benefits PLUS $10,000 for every inch measured in a straight line along the retiring general's body between two points he chose.The first general accepted.
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An elderly man goes into confession and says to the priest, "Father, I'm 80 years old, married, have four kids and 11 grandchildren. I started taking this new Viagra pill, and last night I had an affair and made love to two 18-year-old girls. Both of them. Twice.
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Knock Knock
Who's there !
Alistair
!
Alistair who ?
Alistairs in this house are broken !
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These are supposedly actual signs that have been found in and around parts of England.
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Why was the vampire thought of as

simple-minded?
Because he was a complete sucker.
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A farm boy was drafted. On his first furlough,
his Father
asked him what he thought of Army life.

"It's
pretty good Pa. The food's not bad, the work's easy but best
of
all, they let ya sleep real late in the morning."
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