Why was the blonde looking in the refrigerator?

There are two guys walking in front of a large church. One guy says to the other, "Just a minute, I'll be right back."He goes into the confessional and says, "Father forgive me, for I have sinned. I have had two extramarital affairs." The Father says, "You need to say 40 Hail Marys,and I also need to know if the women were members of my parish.
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A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?"She said, "I'd love to be ten again."On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park, the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. Everything there was, she had a go.
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Knock Knock Who's there? Aardvark! Aardvark who? Aardvark a hundred miles for one of your smiles! Knock Knock Who's there? Aaron! Aaron who! Aaron on the side of caution! Knock Knock Who's there? Acid! Acid who? Acid down and be quiet! Knock Knock Who's there? Ada! Ada who? Ada burger for lunch! Knock Knock Who's there? Adam! Adam who? Adam if I
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What happens if you upset a cannibal?
You
get into hot water.
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Q. Why did the blonde climb over the glass
wall?
A. To see what was on the other side.
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This hippie walks into a bar, and thinks it's a restaurant. He walks up to the counter, and says to the barkeep, "I want a hot dog, not too hot, not too cold, but in the groove."So the barkeep walks into the back room, and tells this to the manager, who is in a bad mood. The manager says, "Well, give him whatever he wants, then get him out of here.
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Usually everyone who has a dog would call the dog Rover or something. I call mine "Sex". Sex is a very embarrassing name, but I never knew HOW embarrassing until one day I took Sex for a walk and he ran away from me. I spent hours looking for him. A police officer came along and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning.
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|A pilot, Michael Jordon, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a pizza delivery man were all in a plane together traveling through stormy conditions.Suddenly, the pilot came running back to the passengers and announced that lightning had hit the plane, and they were going to crash in a matter of minutes.
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Pat Williams, general manager of the Orlando Magic, on his team's woeful record:"We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As general manager, I just can't figure out where else to play."
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Why did the grape cross the road?

To get
away from the grapefruit.
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