yo mama so fat.. cereal

What did the baby elephant get when
the
daddy elephant sneezed ?
Out of the way !
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The Perfect Day According To:HER8:45 Wake up to hugs and kisses9:00 5 pounds lighter on the scale9:30 Light breakfast11:00 Sunbathe12:30 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe1:45 Shopping2:30 Run into boyfriend's/husband's ex - notice she's gained 30 lbs3:00 Facial, massage, nap7:30 Candlelight dinner for two and dancing10:00 Make love11:30
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Question: What is every Amish woman's private fantasy? Answer: Two Mennonite!
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It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
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Ancient History Explained...A team of archaeologists found a slab of rock with 5 figures carved on it, in order:A Woman, A Donkey, A Shovel, A Fish, A Star of David. After months of study, the leader took the rock and went on a lecture tour.
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How to elephants talk to each other ?
By
'elephone !
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What do you call a man who has been
dead and buried for
thousands of years?
Pete.
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|The government's system administration team, working with computer manufacturers and experts in the computer industry, has found a lower cost alternative to address the Y2K (Year 2000) issue: The goal is to remove all computers from the desktop by December 31, 1999.
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How do you hire a teddy bear?
Put
him on stilts !
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A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later: "Da-ad..." "What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?""No. You had your chance. Lights out."Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad..." "WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY...Can I have a drink of water??" "I told you NO! If you ask again I'll have to spank you!!"Five minutes later... "Daaaa-aaaad..
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