Yo mama so fat.. tripped

Why do pigs have flat snouts?
From running in
to trees.
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Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died yesterday of a severe yeastinfection.He was 71.Fresh was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years.Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the CaliforniaRaisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker and the Hostess Twinkies.
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Two Poles, Markowski and Krachevski go to France on a pleasure trip. They meet this Frenchman called Jean Paul and become good pals. Jean Paul finds these two Poles some-what amusing and so he goes all out to make them happy. He treats them at pubs, bars, discotheques.This goes on for a while until one fine day Jean Paul does not turn up.
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A married couple is driving down the
interstate doing
55 mph. The husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks
over at him and
says, "Honey, I know we've been married for 15 years,
but, I want a
divorce."
The husband says nothing but slowly
increases speed to 60 mph.
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The five most constipated people in the Bible:1. Cain-who wasn't able.2. King Solomon-who sat on the throne for forty years.3. King David-who neither Heaven nor Earth could move.4. Moses-who took two tablets and went up into the mountains.5. Noah-who spent 40 days and 40 nights on the ark and passed nothing but water.
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How does James Bond type e-mails?
With his
goldfinger.
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Prostitute walks into a bar and asks the bar man for two Bacardi's and coke. Bar man serves her and notices that she drinks one and empties the other one down her panties. Now this happened another three times and thebar man was getting rather curious.
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An accountant is in a car travelling with a
farmer
client around his farm.

They pass a large mob of sheep
and the farmer says, "You're pretty
good with numbers, Keith. How
many sheep do you reckon are in that
paddock?"

The accountant
looks at the sheep for a moment and says, "One
thousand, eight
hundred and thirty two.
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There were once four kids, Poop, Shut Up, Manners, and Trouble.Poop was riding his bike and fell. Manners went to help him up. Trouble got lost. Shut Up goes to the Police Station to report it.Officer: What's your name?Shut Up: Shut Up.Officer: What's your name?Shut Up: Shut Up.
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Who won the animal race?
The giraffe and
the aardvark were running neck and neck, but the
aardvark won by a
nose!
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