Yo mamma's so stupid...

What do you get if you cross a moth with a

firefly?
An insect that can find its way around a dark closet.
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A man leaves a bar,
gets into his car and
drives away. 200 yards further he's stopped by a
police officer.

Officer: "Good evening sir. We're testing drivers for drunken

driving. Would you please blow into this machine?".
Man: "I'm sorry,
I can't do that. I have asthma. If I blow on that
machine I will
get out of air".
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Top honors for "Human Projectile of the Month" go to an as-of-yet unidentified dude who is also a serious contender for the annual "Darwin Award". That prestigious prize is given posthumously to the person who does the human gene pool the greatest service by removing himself from it in the most extraordinarily stupid fashion.
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What has eighteen legs and fetches a ball?
The
Philadelphia Beagles!
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Jesus walks upon a crowd with an adulteress crouching in a corner with a mob around her preparing to stone her to death.Jesus stops them and says, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone!"Suddenly a woman at the back of the crowd fires off a stone at the adulteress and blasts her right in the head.At which point Jesus looks over and says...
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A man goes into a doctor's office and says "Doctor! Doctor! I have fivepenises!"The doctor says,"Good lord! How do your pants fit?"The man replies, "Like a glove."
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What the best way to get a guy to stop smoking after sex? Fill his water bed with gasoline.
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Q. Why does Mary Lou Retton smile so much?A. Because she found out what the big boys eat.
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Q: How do you
confuse a blonde?
A: You
don't. They're born that way.
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A black guy walks into a tavern with a parrot on his shoulder...thebartender looks up and says " where the hell did you get that thing?The Parrot replies " Over in Africa, there's millions of them " !!!!
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