Zodiac jokes

How do snails get their shells all
shiny?
They use snail polish.
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It was time for Father John's Saturday night bath, and young nun, Sister Magdalene had prepared the bath water and towels just the way the old nun had instructed. Sister Magdalene was also instructed not to look at Father John's nakedness if she could help it, do whatever he told her to do, and pray.
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Doctor, Doctor, some days I feel like
a tee-pee and
other days I feel like a wig-wam.
You're too
tents.
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What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear ?
A
petticoat !
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two mates at a pub having a beer when the bald one

starts complaining about being bald. the other guy says to have a

transplant operation.the bald guy says he cant afford it.so his mate
says to
go and have some rabbits tattooed on his head.
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"I'm worried," said the woman to her sex therapist. "I happened to find my daughter and the little boy next door both naked and examining each other's bodies.""That's not unusual," smiled the therapist. "I wouldn't worry about it.""But I am worried, doctor," insisted the woman, "and so is my daughter's husband!"
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Bart Simpson's Chalkboard Archive I will not carve gods.I will not spank others.I will not aim for the head.I will not barf unless I'm sick.I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty. I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge. I will not conduct my own fire drills.Funny noises are not funny.I will not snap bras.I will not fake seizures.
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|The Net is SlowOh, the network outside is frightful,But on campus, it's so delightful,Our packets have nowhere to go,Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow.It doesn't show signs of stopping,All our packets, our hosts are dropping;Bandwidth is turned way down low,Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow.
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What's the best way to see a charging herd

of elephants ?
On television !
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How do you stop a monster from
smelling?
Cut off his nose.
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