Animal Jokes
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to go away and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in.
Category: Animal Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Animal Jokes - 0 Comments
Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex.
Category: Animal Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Animal Jokes - 0 Comments
An ant and an elephant share a night of romance. The next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead. "Shit!" says the ant. "One night of passion and I will spend the rest of my life digging a grave!"
Category: Animal Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Animal Jokes - 0 Comments
A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... They must be Gods! A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... I must be a God!
Category: Animal Jokes - 1 Comments
Category: Animal Jokes - 1 Comments
Two rabbits were being chased by a pack of wolves. The wolves chased the rabbits into a thicket. After a few minutes, one rabbit turned to the other and said, "Well, do you want to make a run for it or stay here a few days and outnumber them?"
Category: Animal Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Animal Jokes - 0 Comments
A bear is chasing a rabbit through a forest. They find a bottle and decide to rub it. A genie pops out. He says "I will grant each of you three wishes."The bear says "I wish all the bears in the forest were females." *poof* It's done.The rabbit says "I wish for a motorcycle." *poof* It's done.
Category: Animal Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Animal Jokes - 0 Comments
Q: Why don't elephants use cellular phones?A: So the rest of the world won't know their plans.
Category: Animal Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Animal Jokes - 0 Comments
Q: Why do penguins live in the Arctic?A: Because they can't fly to Florida like the rest of the old birds.
Category: Animal Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Animal Jokes - 0 Comments
Random Jokes
Spinach flavored Rice Cakes. Teeth removing Taffy Metamucil in a straw Ex-Lax Brownies Caramel Covered Zucchini Colored Crisco on a Stick Hot steaming bowl of pumpkin guts Chocolate Covered Prunes A Handful of Red Man Anything that ticks!
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
One day there were two boys
playing by
a stream. One of the young boys saw a bush and went over to
it and the
other boy couldn't figure out why his friend was at the
bush so long.
The other boy went over to the bush and looked. The
two boys were
looking at a woman bathing naked in the steam.
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playing by
a stream. One of the young boys saw a bush and went over to
it and the
other boy couldn't figure out why his friend was at the
bush so long.
The other boy went over to the bush and looked. The
two boys were
looking at a woman bathing naked in the steam.
Category: More Jokes - 0 Comments
Two guys are bungee-jumping one day. The first guy says to the second. "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico."The second guy thinks this is a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they'll need - a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Tom: What did the banana say to
the elephant?
Nick: I don't know.
Tom: Nothing. Bananas can't talk.
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the elephant?
Nick: I don't know.
Tom: Nothing. Bananas can't talk.
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Doctor Sawbones speaking. Oh, doctor, my
girlfriend's just dislocated her jaw. Can you come over in, say, three
or four weeks' time?
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girlfriend's just dislocated her jaw. Can you come over in, say, three
or four weeks' time?
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Returning from her vacation, the
young
secretary was telling anyone
who would listen about what a fun time
she had. She then asked for two
weeks leave in which to get
married.
"But you just had two weeks off," said the boss. "Why didn't you
get
married then ?"
"What and ruin my vacation ?" she
whined.
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young
secretary was telling anyone
who would listen about what a fun time
she had. She then asked for two
weeks leave in which to get
married.
"But you just had two weeks off," said the boss. "Why didn't you
get
married then ?"
"What and ruin my vacation ?" she
whined.
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A blonde dies and goes to the pearly gates of heaven to meet Saint Peter...He first tells her that the only way she can get through the gate is to pass a quite simple test."What is The Son Of God's name?" he asks.She thinks for a minute, rubbing her chin in deep thought. "Andy!" She bursts out with a gleaming smile.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
|Any time you feel dumb, don't worry. Check out the following excerpts from a "Wall Street Journal" article by Jim Carlton. Lots of people are dumber than you.1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the many calls asking where the "Any" key is.2.
Category: Dumb Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Dumb Jokes - 0 Comments
A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what hisfuture holds.His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: "You are going to meet abeautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."The frog is thrilled, "This is great!"Will I meet her at a party?" he croaks."No," says the psychic, "in biology class."
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
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