Animal World
How To Give Your Cat a Pill 1. Grasp cat firmly in your arms. Cradle its head on your elbows, just as if you were giving a baby a bottle. Coo confidently, "That's a nice kitty." Drop pill into its mouth.2. Retrieve cat from top of lamp and pill from under sofa.3.
Category: Animal World - 0 Comments
Category: Animal World - 0 Comments
It's a beautiful warm spring day and a man and his wife are at the zoo. She's wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless w/straps. As they walk through the ape exhibit and pass in front of a very large gorilla, the gorilla goes ape.
Category: Animal World - 0 Comments
Category: Animal World - 0 Comments
Hungry Snake Having arived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then hehappened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a worm. The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him of his worm.
Category: Animal World - 0 Comments
Category: Animal World - 0 Comments
A veterinarian surgeon had had a hell of a day, but when he got home from tending to all the sick animals his wife was waiting with a long cool drink and a romantic candle-lit dinner, after which they had a few more drinks and went happily to bed.At about 2:00 in the morning, the phone rang. "Is this the vet?" asked an elderly lady's voice.
Category: Animal World - 0 Comments
Category: Animal World - 0 Comments
What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants in the distance?"Look, a herd of elephants in the distance"What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants with sunglassesin the distance?Nothing. He doesn't recognize them.
Category: Animal World - 0 Comments
Category: Animal World - 0 Comments
What is the difference between en elephant and a plum?An elephant is grey.What does Jane say when she sees a herd of elephants in the distance?"Look! A herd of plums in the distance" (Jane is colorblind)
Category: Animal World - 0 Comments
Category: Animal World - 0 Comments
How do you get four elephants into a Mini?Two in the front, two in the back.
Category: Animal World - 0 Comments
Category: Animal World - 0 Comments
How do you get an elephant into the fridge?1. Open door.2. Insert elephant.3. Close door.How do you get a giraffe into the fridge?1. Open door.2. Remove elephant.3. Insert giraffe.4. Close door.How do you know there are *two* elephants in your fridge?The door won't close.
Category: Animal World - 0 Comments
Category: Animal World - 0 Comments
How do you get an elephant out of the water?Wet.How do you get two elephants out of the water?One by one.
Category: Animal World - 0 Comments
Category: Animal World - 0 Comments
Random Jokes
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Amour
!
Amour who?
Amour you eat, the more you want !
Category: More Jokes - 0 Comments
Who's there !
Amour
!
Amour who?
Amour you eat, the more you want !
Category: More Jokes - 0 Comments
A physician claims these are actual comments from his patients made while he was performing colonoscopies: 1. "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before." 2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?" 3. "Can you hear me NOW?" 4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" 5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
|Reasons why a normal Car is a far superior vehicle than a F1 Car"Hundreds of people and tens of millions of dollars go into building an F1 car, but a normal car is a far superior vehicle. You wonder what goes through those guys' minds when design their cars. THEY'RE ALL WRONG!!!!" No door... I mean, people have to climb in.
Category: Sport Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Sport Jokes - 0 Comments
During an Army war game, a commanding officer'sjeep got stuck in the mud. The C.O. saw some menlounging around nearby and asked them to helphim get unstuck. "Sorry sir," said one of the loafers, "but we'vebeen classified dead and the umpire said we couldn'tcontribute in any way." The C.O.
Category: War - 0 Comments
Category: War - 0 Comments
|Kids can sometimes ask the toughest questions.Son: Father, Can I ask you a question?Father: Ok ask.Son: When a doctor doctors a doctor, does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as the doctor being doctored wants to be doctored or does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as he wants to doctor.Father: !!!??????!!!
Category: Mom/Dad Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Mom/Dad Jokes - 0 Comments
|Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond.
Category: Police Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Police Jokes - 0 Comments
A man walks into a pharmacy and goes to the counter. Standing behind the counter is a young woman."May I speak to the pharmacist?" he asks. "Well," she replies, "I am the pharmacist."He looks very uncomfortable, and asks for a *male* pharmacist, as he has a "male problem.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com, did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg.Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Q: How many Virgos does it take to change a
lightbulb? A: Virgos don't have time to change their own lightbulbs.
They're too busy changing them for everyone else.
Category: More Jokes - 0 Comments
lightbulb? A: Virgos don't have time to change their own lightbulbs.
They're too busy changing them for everyone else.
Category: More Jokes - 0 Comments
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