Business Jokes
|An American automobile company and a Japanese auto company decided to have a competitive boat race on the Detroit River. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day, they were as ready as they could be.The Japanese team won by a mile.
Category: Business Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Business Jokes - 0 Comments
|For the past three years, the government has worked hard and spent many tax dollars to find the approval ratings for unemployment.They have concluded that a 7% unemployment level is acceptable to 93% of the working population.Now let's just hope that the unemployment rate doesn't change.
Category: Business Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Business Jokes - 0 Comments
|Take heart, America. Three monkey wrenches have been thrown into Japan's well-oiled economic machine. It's only a mater of time before that powerful engine of productivity begins to sputter and fail.
Category: Business Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Business Jokes - 0 Comments
|Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. Tom slept well and in fact beat the alarm in the morning by almost two hours.
Category: Business Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Business Jokes - 0 Comments
|The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up. Everybody, but one girl laughed uproariously."What's the matter?" grumbled the boss. "Haven't you got a sense of humor?""I don't have to laugh," she replied. "I'm leaving Friday."
Category: Business Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Business Jokes - 0 Comments
|Dear Sir,I am writing in response to your request for additional information for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust the following detail will be sufficient.
Category: Business Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Business Jokes - 0 Comments
|Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department manager. Upon completion of the test both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Murphy and said.
Category: Business Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Business Jokes - 0 Comments
|When I take a long time, I am slow.When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough.When I don't do it, I am lazy.When my boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.When I do it without being told, I'm trying to be smart.When my boss does the same, that is initiative.When I please my boss, that's brown-nosing.
Category: Business Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Business Jokes - 0 Comments
|1. I'm really keen to work for you, I hear the drugs are good.2. I regret that I have no references. Unfortunately, every company I have worked for has since closed down.3. I'll kill myself if I don't get a job.4. I know where you live.5. Any sentence beginning with "I was recently acquitted."6.
Category: Business Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Business Jokes - 0 Comments
|In most offices, the photocopier is out of order every now and then. One copy repairman had answered question after question for the employees. Finally one day, he just smiled and handed them this sheet.The copier is out of order!Yes, we have called the service man.Yes, he will be in today.No, we cannot fix it.
Category: Business Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Business Jokes - 0 Comments
Random Jokes
A recent study showed that the average
husband
only actually speaks to
his wife about thirty-seven minutes
each week.
Well, yeah, I can believe that, I mean just how long
does it take to
say "Uh-huh" or "Yes dear" or "I'm sorry" ?
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husband
only actually speaks to
his wife about thirty-seven minutes
each week.
Well, yeah, I can believe that, I mean just how long
does it take to
say "Uh-huh" or "Yes dear" or "I'm sorry" ?
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Mommy monster:
Don't eat that uranium.
Little monster: Why not?
Mommy monster: You'll get
atomic-ache.
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Don't eat that uranium.
Little monster: Why not?
Mommy monster: You'll get
atomic-ache.
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Why was the bee flying around with his legs crossed? He couldn't find a BP station!
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
After much research and millions of dollars, our scientists havediscovered the secret ingredients to Viagra!VIAGRA INGREDIENT LIST: (TopSecret!) 3% Vitamin E 2% aspirin 2%ibuprofen 1% Vitamin C...and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ...92% Fix-A-Flat!
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
|I've got good and badThis old man visits his doctor and after a thorough examination, the doctor tells him, "I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?"Patient: Well, give me the bad news first.Doctor: You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left.
Category: Doctor Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Doctor Jokes - 0 Comments
A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seatnext to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face wasplastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin wassticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaperand began reading.
Category: Religion - 0 Comments
Category: Religion - 0 Comments
|Two fishermen were out on the lake when one of them dropped his wallet. As they watched the wallet float down to the depths of the lake, a carp came along and snatched up the wallet. Soon came another carp who stole it away and then a third joined in. Remarked one of the fisherman, "That's the first time I've ever seen carp-to-carp walleting."
Category: Camping Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Camping Jokes - 0 Comments
A police officer was escorting a
prisoner
to jail when his hat blew off.
"Shall I run and get it for you?"
asked the prisoner obligingly.
"You must think I'm daft," said the
officer.
"You stand here and I'll get it."
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prisoner
to jail when his hat blew off.
"Shall I run and get it for you?"
asked the prisoner obligingly.
"You must think I'm daft," said the
officer.
"You stand here and I'll get it."
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The Pilots One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to show up so they can get under way. The pilot and co pilot finally appear in the rear of the plane, and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind.
Category: Situations - 0 Comments
Category: Situations - 0 Comments
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