Children
Two brothers, ages 6 and 8, decide they are old enough to start cursing. Sothey plan to use dirty words the next morning at breakfast. The 8-year-oldsays he'll use the world HELL and tells the 6-year-old to use ASS.Well, the next morning they head downstairs for breakfast.
Category: Children - 0 Comments
Category: Children - 0 Comments
A little girl came running into the house crying and miserable from a small cut she just received. She asked her mom for a glass of cider. "Why do you want cider?" asked Mom. "To take the pain away," sobbed the little girl. Tired of all the tears, Mom poured her a glass. The little girl immediately put her hand into the drink.
Category: Children - 0 Comments
Category: Children - 0 Comments
A wish for Christmas It is around christmas time and santa is sitting in the middle of the mall in his big holiday setup.He has a line of kids lined up to sit on his lap and tell him what they want for christmas. As the line dwindles down; a little 5 year old boy comes up and sits on santas lap.
Category: Children - 0 Comments
Category: Children - 0 Comments
THE IRS LETTER... Dear Sirs: I am responding to your letter denying the deduction for two of the three dependents I claimed on my 1996 Federal Tax return. Thank you. I have questioned whether these are my children or not for years. They are evil and expensive.
Category: Children - 0 Comments
Category: Children - 0 Comments
There was a boy who worked in the produce section of the market. One day, a man came in andasked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man replied that he did not need a whole head, but only a half head. The boy said he would go ask his manager about the matter.
Category: Children - 0 Comments
Category: Children - 0 Comments
An 8 year old boy walks home from school each day past an 8 year old girls house. One day as he is passing by, carrying a football, he can't resist taunting the girl. He holds up the football and says, "See this football? Football is a boys game, and only boys can have a football!".
Category: Children - 0 Comments
Category: Children - 0 Comments
It was the first day of school, and the elementary school teacher was establishing the fact that she'd take no nonsense from the kiddies this year. While taking the roll, she was told by one boy "My name is Johnny Fuckhauer". So she said "There'll be none of that kind of thing this year, Johnny; tell me your REAL name!".
Category: Children - 0 Comments
Category: Children - 0 Comments
Little Johnny was in class again.Teacher asked everyone "Can anyone tell me a sentence with the word definitely in it?" Meg puts up her hand."The sky is definitely blue." "Thats not bad,Meg," says the teacher, "but the sky can be grey or red." Young Sally tried :"The grass is definitely green.
Category: Children - 0 Comments
Category: Children - 0 Comments
Little Johnny walks into his primary school classroom one morning to be confronted by his teacher. Teacher "Ahh, Good Morning Johnny, and where were you yesterday?" Johnny "I'm sorry Miss, but my Grandad got burnt yesterday." Teacher, "Was he burned very bad?" Johnny, "Yes Mam, they don't fuck around at these crematoriums you know.
Category: Children - 0 Comments
Category: Children - 0 Comments
Random Jokes
A man's car stalled on a country
road one
morning. When the man got out to fix it, a cow came along and
stopped beside him. "Your trouble is probably in the carburetor,"
said
the cow.
Startled, the man jumped back and ran down the road
until he met a
farmer. The amazed man told the farmer his
story.
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road one
morning. When the man got out to fix it, a cow came along and
stopped beside him. "Your trouble is probably in the carburetor,"
said
the cow.
Startled, the man jumped back and ran down the road
until he met a
farmer. The amazed man told the farmer his
story.
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Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense?
A:
(I'll tell you tomorrow.)
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A:
(I'll tell you tomorrow.)
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Lord, forgive me for what I am about to do======================== ==================A rabbi, a minister, and a priest were playing poker when the policeraided the game. Turning to the priest, the lead police officersaid, "Father Murphy, were you gambling?"Turning his eyes to heaven, the priest whispered, "Lord, forgive mefor what I am about to do.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Q: Two men drive into a car wash. Which one
is the Irishman?
A: The one on the motorbike.
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is the Irishman?
A: The one on the motorbike.
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|The 1982 Israeli invasion of Lebanon resulted in many dogfights between Syrian and Israeli jet fighters.In the end, the Syrians lost over 80 planes and had a number of SAM batteries knocked out, while the Israelis lost no planes.Sometime later, the Syrian Defense Minister was shopping for weapons in Moscow.
Category: Military Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Military Jokes - 0 Comments
|What do rodents say when they play bingo?'Eyes down for a full mouse'!
Category: Kids Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Kids Jokes - 0 Comments
Woo-hoo...check out these letters from tenants to landlords!"The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared. ""Will you please send someone to mend our cracked sidewalk. Yesterday my wife tripped on it and is now pregnant. .. .
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
|WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (actual AP headline) Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her inlaws, and while there, she went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.
Category: Dumb Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Dumb Jokes - 0 Comments
What do you get if cross two young dogs with a
pair
of headphones ?
Hush puppies !
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pair
of headphones ?
Hush puppies !
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