Computing Jokes
|Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.Anita Hill virus: Lies dormant for ten years.Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
Category: Computing Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Computing Jokes - 0 Comments
|Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever.
Category: Computing Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Computing Jokes - 0 Comments
|OCR - Optical Character RecognitionA technology that can take written words and convert them back into computer-readable form, provided they're in the right font, using the correct colors sometimes, at the right point size and pitch, dark enough on the paper, and you're prepared to spend several centuries correcting all the 1's that came out as
Category: Computing Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Computing Jokes - 0 Comments
|10. Accidental switch back to 19,000 Leagues Under the Sea.9. Screwed up computers report EuroDisney turning a profit.8. Air traffic control glitch causes Dumbo to smack into a DC-10.7. The "It's a Small World After All" creatures go on a rampage.6. The Hall of Presidents keeps chanting "Kill Clinton, kill Clinton."5.
Category: Computing Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Computing Jokes - 0 Comments
|By following the instructions below, you should have error-free, long-lasting floppy disks. Never leave diskettes in the disk drive, as data can leak out of the disk and corrode the inner mechanics of the drive. Diskettes should be rolled up and stored in pencil holders.Diskettes should be cleaned and waxed once a week.
Category: Computing Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Computing Jokes - 0 Comments
|One of Microsoft's finest technicans was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target.The technician looked at his rifle, and then at the target.
Category: Computing Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Computing Jokes - 0 Comments
|Q: How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?A: Exactly five hundred.1 to change the light bulb and to post to the mail list that the light bulb has been changed.
Category: Computing Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Computing Jokes - 0 Comments
|1. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding2. Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.7. Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)8. Backups? We don' *NEED* no steenking backups.9. E Pluribus Modem10. .... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)11. Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny12. CONGRESS.
Category: Computing Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Computing Jokes - 0 Comments
|'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house Not a creature was stirring, except father's mouse. The computer was humming, the icons were hopping, As father did last-minute Internet shopping.The stockings were hung next the modem with care In the hope that Santa would bring new software.
Category: Computing Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Computing Jokes - 0 Comments
|July 18I just tried to connect to America online, which I've heard is the best online service I can get. I can't connect, I don't know what is wrong.July 19Some guy at the tech support center says my computer needs a modem. I don't see why. He's just trying to cheat me.
Category: Computing Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Computing Jokes - 0 Comments
Random Jokes
Q: Why do New Zealanders have sex with sheep on the edge of mountains?A: So they push back harder.
Category: Ethnic - 0 Comments
Category: Ethnic - 0 Comments
A man with a wooden eye was sitting at a bar one night.He glanced across the room and noticed a very attractive woman with just one flaw, she had a very large nose. He was very self concious about his eye but got up the nerve to ask her for a dance. "Would you like to dance with me?"he asked.
Category: Situations - 0 Comments
Category: Situations - 0 Comments
1.The "complimentary" paper tells you that President Kennedy has died.2.The mint on the pillow starts moving when you come close to it. 3.The "magic fingers vibration" is supplied by giving a quarter to the town epileptic. 4.There is still some stuff that they put around crime scenes that is yellow 5.
Category: Travel Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Travel Jokes - 0 Comments
|MacAndrews was visiting his Irish cousin, O'Bannon. While there he decided to do a bit of fishing. As he sat there on afternoon, his cousin walked by."What are ye doing?" asked O'Bannon."Fishin'," said MacAndrews."Caught anything?""Ach, nae a bite,""What are ye usin' fer bait?""Worms""Let me see it," said O'Bannon.
Category: Irish Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Irish Jokes - 0 Comments
"Dad," said Fred to his father, who was a
bank robber. "I need $50 for the school trip tomorrow."
"OK, son,"
said his dad, "I'll get you the cash when the bank
closes."
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bank robber. "I need $50 for the school trip tomorrow."
"OK, son,"
said his dad, "I'll get you the cash when the bank
closes."
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Riding a merry-go-round on Sundays is considered a crime. Illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds. You may not fish on a camel's back. Residents may not fish from a giraffe's back. A person may not be seen in public without a smile on their face.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
A newlywed couple, after bringing their
luggage into their cabin, stormed down to the desk. The bride was in
tears, and the groom was red faced. When asked what the problem was, the
groom started swearing at the desk clerk. "We booked a cabin with a
view
for our honeymoon, and all we get to see out the window is a
parking
lot!"
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luggage into their cabin, stormed down to the desk. The bride was in
tears, and the groom was red faced. When asked what the problem was, the
groom started swearing at the desk clerk. "We booked a cabin with a
view
for our honeymoon, and all we get to see out the window is a
parking
lot!"
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These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country. March Planned For Next August Blind Bishop Appointed To See Lingerie Shipment Hijacked--Thief Gives Police The Slip L.A.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Men
are like road kill.
They usually just
lie around until they start to smell.
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are like road kill.
They usually just
lie around until they start to smell.
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The wife comes home from a night at bingo with a new fur coat. She says "Honey, look what I won at bingo".Next week she comes home from bingo with a large diamond ring. She says,"Honey look what I won at bingo".Next week she come home from bingo driving a new porsche, she says "Honey, look what I won at bingo".
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
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