Doctor Jokes

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A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him."Why do we have to learn this stuff?" the frustrated student blurted out."To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture.A few minutes later the student spoke up again.
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Different Kinds of Doctors

There are several different kinds of doctors, and it is told that they can be differentiated by the following method:General Practitioners know nothing and do little.Surgeons know little and do everything.Internists know everything and do nothing.Pathologists know everything and can do everything, but it's usually too late.
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Pete

Pete was sitting at home one evening when the doorbell rang. He opened the door to see a 6-foot-tall cockroach standing on his doorstep. The cockroach punched Pete between the eyes and scampered off.The next evening, Pete was sitting at home wen the doorbell rang. When he answered the door, the cockroach was there yet again.
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How to Argue the Price of a Screw

A well known, rich business man's wife broke her hip. The business man got the best orthopedic surgeon in town to do the operation, which consisted of lining up the broken hip and putting in a screw to secure it.The operation went smoothly, and the doctor sent the business man a bill for $5,000 for his services.
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Professional Courtesy?

A doctor and his wife were sunbathing on a beach when a beautiful young blonde in a tight-fitting bikini strolled past. The blonde looked a the doctor, smiled seductively, and murmured in a very sexy voice, "Hi there handsome. How ya doing?"She then wiggled her backside and walked off."Who was that?" demanded the doctor's wife.
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Diseases

The doctor took Dan into the room and said, "Dan, I have some good news and some bad news.""Oh, no. Give me the good news, I guess," Dan replied."They're going to name a disease after you."
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Dentist

Then there?s the woman who goes to the dentist. As he leans over to begin working on her, she grabs his crotch. The dentist says, "Madam, I believe you?ve got a hold of my privates." The woman replies, "Yes. Now, we?re going to be careful not to hurt each other, aren?t we."
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Waiting Room

I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labor and the nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, "Congratulations sir, you?re the new father of twins!"The man replied, "How about that, I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Company." The man then followed the woman to his wife?s room.
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Deodorant

A customer walks into a pharmacy and asks assistant for an anal deodorant. The assistant explains that they don?t stock them. The man insists that he bought his last one from this store. The assistant passes man on to the pharmacist, who explains that store has never stocked such an item.
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Birth Control

An elderly woman went into the doctor?s office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I?d like to have some birth control pills." Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you?re 75 years old.
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Random Jokes

Blonde on blonde

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports carand was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.The cop asked to see the blonde's driver's license. She dug through herpurse and was getting progressively more agitated."What does it look like?" she finally asked.
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Under The Truck

A middle-aged businessman took a young woman half his age as his wife. The fantasy of having a young woman in his bed soon became a nightmare when he found that he could not last long enough to satisfy his young bride.His wife, as understanding as she was exciting, told him that all was well even if he was quick to get out of the saddle.
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Bus jokes

What would you get if you crossed King Kong with a
skunk?
I don't know but it could always get a seat on a bus!
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My boy(s) Leroy!

A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The office worker asked her, "How many children do you have?""Ten," she replied."What are their names?" he asked."LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, and LeRoy," she answered.
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He was un hoppy!

|Why was the frog down in the mouth?He was un hoppy!
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Dirty jokes

Q: How does a blonde part their hair?
A1:
(Action of scissoring legs apart)
A2: By doing the splits.
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The new warden

A new jail warden was being shown through the jailhouse by the old warden. Soon, after making rounds around the rest of the jail, they get to the cafeteria. In one corner, he sees a group of elderly men laughing hysterically. Interested, he watches them while the older warden gets his food.
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Clinton jokes

Q: What's the best place to photograph
Clinton
Administration officials?
A: A police lineup.
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Monster jokes

Where do you find monster snails?
On the
end of monsters fingers.
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Insect jokes

What is the difference between a flea bitten
dog and a bored
visitor ?
Ones going to itch and the other is
itching to go !
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Doctor Jokes

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