Dumb Jokes
|These are supposedly actual quotes taken from around the world."The effects are fleeting and lingering..." - Overheard in a hallway "In Managua, people are cheering in the streets, which are deserted." - CBS reporter during the solar eclipse "A trucker called to thank all of the courteous Seattle drivers he had run across.
Category: Dumb Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Dumb Jokes - 0 Comments
|These are supposedly actual quotes taken from around the world.Newsreader, BBC Radio 4: "Working mothers are the backbone of the third half of the economy." Glenda Jackson, Channel 4 TV: "There's nothing athletes like - or indeed hate - more than hanging around like this.
Category: Dumb Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Dumb Jokes - 0 Comments
|These are supposedly actual quotes taken from around the world."That race was all about competition." - David Coleman, ITV "And I can see the strong wind blowing the sun towards us." - Brian Johnson, BBC Radio 3 Mark Goodier: What's the name of the company you work for? Listener: Mining and Engineering Services.
Category: Dumb Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Dumb Jokes - 0 Comments
|It is once again time to vote for-the Darwin Award nominees for 1997. As you may already know, the Darwin Awards are for those nominees who will not be contributing to the gene pool (thankfully).The 1997 nominees are: NOMINEE No.
Category: Dumb Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Dumb Jokes - 0 Comments
|I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed.
Category: Dumb Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Dumb Jokes - 0 Comments
|After interviewing a particularly short-spoken job candidate, I described the person to my boss as rather monosyllabic. My boss said, "Really? Where is Monosyllabia?". Thinking that he was just kidding, I played along and said that it was just south of Elbonia. He replied, "Oh, you mean over by Croatia?"
Category: Dumb Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Dumb Jokes - 0 Comments
|An actual tip from page 16 of the Hewlett Packard Environmental, Health & Safety Handbook for Employees: "Blink your eyelids periodically to lubricate your eyes."
Category: Dumb Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Dumb Jokes - 0 Comments
|I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: Many deer were being hit by cars and he no longer wanted them to cross there.
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Category: Dumb Jokes - 0 Comments
|My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
Category: Dumb Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Dumb Jokes - 0 Comments
|I was sitting in my science class, when the teacher commented that the next day would be the shortest day of the year. My lab partner became visibly excited, cheering and clapping. I explained to her that the amount of daylight changes, not the actual amount of time. Needless to say, she was very disappointed.
Category: Dumb Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Dumb Jokes - 0 Comments
Random Jokes
What is the only time a man thinks about a candlelight dinner?When the power goes off.
Category: Men - 0 Comments
Category: Men - 0 Comments
Our teacher
talks to herself does yours
?
Yes, but she does't realise it, she thinks we're actually listening
!
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talks to herself does yours
?
Yes, but she does't realise it, she thinks we're actually listening
!
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"Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder:............. What was I thinking?""Congratulations on your wedding day!............. Too bad no one likes your wife.""How could two people as beautiful you............ have such an uglybaby?""I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love.........
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
There's this fella with a parrot. And this parrot swears like an old salt, I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and the bird's foul mouth is driving him nuts.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
A college business
professor could not help
but notice that one of his students was late to
class for the third
time that week. Before class ended he went around
the room asking
students some questions about the day's lecture. Of
course, he made
sure to pick on his tardy pupil.
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professor could not help
but notice that one of his students was late to
class for the third
time that week. Before class ended he went around
the room asking
students some questions about the day's lecture. Of
course, he made
sure to pick on his tardy pupil.
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The story behind this joke:... There's this nutball who digs things out his back yard and sends the stuff he finds to the Smithsonian Institute, labeling them with scientific names, insisting that they are actual archeological finds.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
A Packer fan was enjoying himself at the game in a packed Lambeau Field,until he noticed an empty seat down in front. He went down and asked theguy next to it if he knew whose seat it was. The guy said, "Yes, that'smy wife's seat. We have never missed a game since the Lombardi days, butnow my wife is dead.
Category: Relationships - 0 Comments
Category: Relationships - 0 Comments
|1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.2. While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket.3. Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.4.
Category: Christmas Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Christmas Jokes - 0 Comments
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