Dumb Jokes
|These are supposedly actual quotes taken from around the world."The effects are fleeting and lingering..." - Overheard in a hallway "In Managua, people are cheering in the streets, which are deserted." - CBS reporter during the solar eclipse "A trucker called to thank all of the courteous Seattle drivers he had run across.
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Category: Dumb Jokes - 0 Comments
|These are supposedly actual quotes taken from around the world.Newsreader, BBC Radio 4: "Working mothers are the backbone of the third half of the economy." Glenda Jackson, Channel 4 TV: "There's nothing athletes like - or indeed hate - more than hanging around like this.
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Category: Dumb Jokes - 0 Comments
|These are supposedly actual quotes taken from around the world."That race was all about competition." - David Coleman, ITV "And I can see the strong wind blowing the sun towards us." - Brian Johnson, BBC Radio 3 Mark Goodier: What's the name of the company you work for? Listener: Mining and Engineering Services.
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Category: Dumb Jokes - 0 Comments
|It is once again time to vote for-the Darwin Award nominees for 1997. As you may already know, the Darwin Awards are for those nominees who will not be contributing to the gene pool (thankfully).The 1997 nominees are: NOMINEE No.
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Category: Dumb Jokes - 0 Comments
|I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed.
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Category: Dumb Jokes - 0 Comments
|After interviewing a particularly short-spoken job candidate, I described the person to my boss as rather monosyllabic. My boss said, "Really? Where is Monosyllabia?". Thinking that he was just kidding, I played along and said that it was just south of Elbonia. He replied, "Oh, you mean over by Croatia?"
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Category: Dumb Jokes - 0 Comments
|An actual tip from page 16 of the Hewlett Packard Environmental, Health & Safety Handbook for Employees: "Blink your eyelids periodically to lubricate your eyes."
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Category: Dumb Jokes - 0 Comments
|I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: Many deer were being hit by cars and he no longer wanted them to cross there.
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Category: Dumb Jokes - 0 Comments
|My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
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Category: Dumb Jokes - 0 Comments
|I was sitting in my science class, when the teacher commented that the next day would be the shortest day of the year. My lab partner became visibly excited, cheering and clapping. I explained to her that the amount of daylight changes, not the actual amount of time. Needless to say, she was very disappointed.
Category: Dumb Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Dumb Jokes - 0 Comments
Random Jokes
Did you hear why they closed the Seattle
Kingdom?
While the crowd was doing the wave, two blondes drowned.
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Kingdom?
While the crowd was doing the wave, two blondes drowned.
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When God made man,he made him out of string.He had a little left,so he left a little thing.When God made woman,he made her out of lace.He didn't have enough,so he left a little space.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Once upon a time, a beautiful, independent, self assured princesshappened upon a frog in a pond. The frog said to the princess, "Iwas once a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
|What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common?Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth!
Category: Kids Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Kids Jokes - 0 Comments
Doctor, Doctor I feel like a
spoon!
Well sit still and don't stir!
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spoon!
Well sit still and don't stir!
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A police dog responds to an ad for work with the FBI. "Well," says the personnel director, "You'll have to meet some strict requirements. First, you must type at least 60 words per minute."Sitting down at the typewriter, the dog types out 80 words per minute. "Also," says the director, "You must pass a physical and complete the obstacle course.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
What's the difference between Anarchists and Libertarians??Libertarians are anarchists with money.Anarchists believe property is theft. Libertarians believe everything is property.Libertarians are bosses; anarchists work for them when they run out of other options.Libertarians buy more guns, but anarchists use more ammo.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
"Mr. Chilton," the analyst said, "I think this will be your last visit.""Does that mean I'm cured?" he asked."For all practical purposes, yes," she said. "I think we can safely say that your kleptomania is now under control. You haven't stolen anything in two years, and you seem to know where the kleptomania came from.
Category: Medicine - 0 Comments
Category: Medicine - 0 Comments
What happened when the computer fell on the
floor?
It slipped a disk.
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floor?
It slipped a disk.
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