Elderly
You Can Never Really Go Back There was this couple who had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table that morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, "Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 years.
Category: Elderly - 0 Comments
Category: Elderly - 0 Comments
There was an old married couple that had happily lived together for nearly forty years. The only friction in their marriage was caused by the husband's habit of breaking wind nearly every morning as he awoke. The noise would always wake up his wife and the smell would cause her eyes to water as she would choke and gasp for air.
Category: Elderly - 0 Comments
Category: Elderly - 0 Comments
A little old lady gets onto a crowded bus and stands in front of a seated young girl. Holding her hand to her chest, she says to the girl, "If you knew what I have, you would give me your seat." The girl gets up and gives up her the seat to the old lady. It is hot. The girl then takes out a fan and starts fanning herself.
Category: Elderly - 0 Comments
Category: Elderly - 0 Comments
A tiny but dignified old lady was among a group looking at an art exhibition in a newly opened gallery. Suddenly one contemporary painting caught her eye."What on earth," she inquired of the artist standing nearby, "is that?"He smiled condescendingly. "That, my dear lady, is supposed to be a mother and her child.
Category: Elderly - 0 Comments
Category: Elderly - 0 Comments
Three old ladies are walking down the street. They are hard of hearing.One: Whew, it's windy today!Two: No. Today's Thursday!Three: So am I! Let's go to a bar!
Category: Elderly - 0 Comments
Category: Elderly - 0 Comments
A couple, age 67, went to the doctor's office. The doctor asked, "What canI do for you?"The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?"The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctorsaid, "There is nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse." And hethen charged them $32.00.
Category: Elderly - 0 Comments
Category: Elderly - 0 Comments
Two senior couples are walking along, wives in front, husbands inback. Herb says to Sam, "Gee, we went to a new restaurant last nightand had the best meal ever. Good prices too."Sam says, "Well, we like to eat out too. What was the name of therestaurant?"Herb says, "You'll going to have to help me out here a little.
Category: Elderly - 0 Comments
Category: Elderly - 0 Comments
An old man and an old lady are gettingready for bed one night when all of asudden the woman bursts out of thebathroom, flings open her robe and yells:"Super Pussy!"The old man says: "I'll have the soup."
Category: Elderly - 0 Comments
Category: Elderly - 0 Comments
Random Jokes
THE BODY PARTS MEETINGOne day the different parts of the body were having an argument to see which should be in charge:The brain said "I do all the thinking so I'm the most important and I should be in charge."The eyes said "I see everything and let the rest of you know where we are, so I'm the most important and I should be in charge.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
What's that pig doing in the middle of the road
with a red light on its head?
Didn't you tell me to put out a
stop swine?
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with a red light on its head?
Didn't you tell me to put out a
stop swine?
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Democrats get back at the Republicans on
their Christmas list by
giving them fruitcakes.
Republicans re-wrap
them and send them to in-laws.
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their Christmas list by
giving them fruitcakes.
Republicans re-wrap
them and send them to in-laws.
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A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The office worker asked her, "How many children do you have?""Ten," she replied."What are their names?" he asked."LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, and LeRoy," she answered.
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
It is illegal to fly over any body of water, unless one is carrying sufficient supplies of food and drink. It is illegal to wear pants that are "firm fitting" around the waist. Getting married on a dare is grounds for an annulment
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
Category: Miscellaneous - 0 Comments
"Shhaaayyy, buddy, what's a
'Breathalyzer'?" asked one drunk to his friend at the next
barstool.
"Well, I'd have to say that it's a bag that tells you
when you've
drunk way too much," answered the equally wasted gent.
"Ah hell, whaddya know? I've been married to one of those for
years!"
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'Breathalyzer'?" asked one drunk to his friend at the next
barstool.
"Well, I'd have to say that it's a bag that tells you
when you've
drunk way too much," answered the equally wasted gent.
"Ah hell, whaddya know? I've been married to one of those for
years!"
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A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a
Branch
Manager were on their way to a meeting. They were driving
down a steep
mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car
failed.
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Branch
Manager were on their way to a meeting. They were driving
down a steep
mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car
failed.
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|A man visits his aunt in the nursing home. It turns out that she is taking a nap, so he just sits down in a chair in her room, flips through a few magazines, and munches on some peanuts sitting in a bowl on the table.Eventually, the aunt wakes up, and her nephew realizes he's absentmindedly finished the entire bowl.
Category: Food Jokes - 0 Comments
Category: Food Jokes - 0 Comments
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Elderly
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