Elderly

An elderly couple, living apart, had been datingfor several years. One day Elmer said to Betsy,"We should stop this nonsense. We are paying tworents, two car insurance payments, buying separatefood and cooking separate meals. We should justmove in together. Betsy: Whose house would we live in? Elmer: Mine, it is already paid for.
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An old retired man goes to his wife one day, and says to her, "I don't know how to tell you this dear, but the stock market crashed, and I'm afraid we're broke."The wife says, "No, we're not. Let's go for a drive into town."Husband replies, "Our savings are all gone and you want is to go for a drive? Oh well, whatever.
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There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment.One day he went shopping, his first stop was at a hardware store.He went up to the shop assistant and asked "Could I have a fucketplease?"The assistant asked"Pardon sir?"."Can I have a fucket please?" Replied the man. "Oh you mean a bucket!" The shop assistant replied.
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Minutes before the cremation, the undertaker quietly sat down next to the grieving widow. "How old was your husband?" he asked."He was ninety-eight," she answered softly. "Two years oder than I am.""Really?" the undertaker said. "Hardly worth going home, wouldn't you say?"
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One day an older fella was in for a checkup.After his examination, his doctor was amazed."Holy cow! Mr.
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The 75 year old man and his young, knockout wife wereshopping in an upscale jewelry boutique when the man'soldest friend bumped into him. Eyeing the curvaceousblonde bending over the counter to try on a necklace,the friend asked "How in the hell did YOU land a wifelike that?"The old man whispered back, "Easy. I told her I was 90!"
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An old man and an old woman were sitting at the breakfasttable on the morning of their 50th wedding anniversary. The old man said,"You know, 50 years ago, we were probablysitting here buck naked." The woman said, "Why don't we try that again?" So they stripped and sat down at the table again.
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Here is this guy who really takes care of his body,he lifts weights and jogs five miles every day.One morning he looks into the mirror and admires hisbody. he noticed that he is really sun-tanned all over,except his penis, and he decies to do something about it.
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THERE WERE THREE OLD LADIES SITTING AROUND THE KITCHEN TABLE; GERTRUDE, SOPHIA, AND HARRIET. GERTRUDE SAID, "I THINK I'LL GO UPSTAIRS NOW AND TAKEA BATH." SHE TOOK ALL HER CLOTHES OFF AS AS SHE WAS FILLING UP THE TUB, SHEHAD ONE FOOT IN THE TUB AND THE OTHER STILL OUTSIDE THE TUB.
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Three elderly men are at the doctor for a memory test. Thedoctor says to the first man, "What is three times three?""274," was his reply.The doctor says to the second man, "It's your turn. What isthree times three?" "Tuesday," replies the second man.The doctor says to the third man, "Okay, your turn.
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